Sturniolo Triplets - One Shots/Short Stories

Next Step - M

Warnings: Depression, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, Open-Ending, Cursing

Matt's been depressed for too long and needs an out

A/N: I'm extremely busy so I procrastinated and wrote this, it's really short. Please don't read if these topics and descriptions trigger you, it's really not worth it. I'm not really back to writing in this fandom, I haven't been watching them for a while, but if I ever feel like writing something short, I just might post it here.

The Story:

The thing about depression is that it consumes you, takes over your entire life, every last part of it. From bigger, deeper aspects like your relationships with others, to even the most basic, every day habits, like sleeping, eating and personal hygiene. Not enough people take this seriously, see the warning signs for what they are.

Depression is a term thrown around too often, making it sound like an "everyday" issue that basically everyone faces, as opposed to the dark, suffocating and heavy parasite of the mind that it truly is. Mental health issues have gained a lot more representation in the media in recent years, and while this is obviously a good thing, it also romanticises it, making people who struggle with it seem more 'edgy', 'mysterious' or 'deep', instead of someone who needs help and understanding.

The movies always show depressed people aesthetically walking around alone, sitting on edges of high places while gazing into the distance, or lying in bed. They rarely, if ever, show the scary mood-swings, bursts of unrestrained anger, truly greasy and mangled hair, yellowing teeth and bad breath, sweat stains and overgrown fingernails. They show neither the slow and heart-breaking way relationships strain and deteriorate for months until they eventually break nor the helpless frustration of the people around them.

Even if they wanted to, no movie, song or book could ever really convey the full, devastating range of emotion that both stopped Chris' body from functioning and set it on fire as he went to check in on Matt on that Wednesday morning, after the latter hadn't showed up for breakfast.

Matt being late in the morning wasn't anything strange (especially recently, since Nick and Chris were more or less forced to physically drag Matt out of bed if they wanted him to get anything done that day), so Chris didn't think twice about heading straight for his room. And although he bumped his head and right knee against the door when it remained unexpectedly closed, locked, when he tried opening it, Chris' initially felt growing annoyance. Obviously Matt tried avoiding being dragged out of bed kicking and screaming yet again. Too bad it wouldn't work, Chris wasn't above invalidating his brother's privacy by picking the lock.

No, the sickening fear first appeared in Chris when he saw the empty, made bed. It grew as he walked further into the room, not spotting Matt anywhere, then noticing the slightly open window. And it absolutely exploded in his stomach, spreading to his chest, face, head, his arms and legs, his heart, when his eyes finally landed on the single, closed white envelope on Matt's desk.

The initial shock of the realisation paralysed Chris, all blood rushed to his head, his sight blurred, his ears were ringing and he started swaying on his feet. Once he was able to move again a few moments later, Chris screamed.

.

.

.

"He's gone Nick! Matt's actually gone! No, no, no, no, we have to find him Nick, what if we're too late already, fuck, fuuuck", Chris paced around Matt's room, pulling on his hair anxiously.

Nick was beside him, his whole body shaking as he slowly lowered himself to his knees. He stared wide-eyed at the now opened letter, reading it through for the third time in a row and still not comprehending its content. Speechless.