Without You

17

The next morning, sunlight streams through my window, stirring me from a restless sleep. I rub my eyes. As I quietly make my way down the hallway, I pause at my mom's door, cracked open just enough for me to peek in. She's still asleep. 

My phone buzzes in my pocket, breaking the stillness. It's Aunt Cassidy.

"Hey, Amore! how are you sweetie?"

"Fine."

"How about lunch at that café downtown?" Her voice is cheerful, almost too bright.

I hesitate, torn between the desire for distraction and the reluctance to socialize. "Sure," I reply, trying to inject some enthusiasm into my tone.

"Great! I'll see you then."

I hang up, take a deep breath, and prepare myself for whatever today holds.

When I arrive at the café, Aunt Cassidy is already seated, her smile wide but not quite reaching her eyes. I slide into the chair across from her.

"Hey there, how are you holding up?," she asks looking nervous.

I shrug. "Fine I guess." she nods looking around the cafe. 

"How about you?" I ask trying to not make the conversation one-sided.

"I'm good, you know, I just got promoted at my job." I tense up. Ella was supposed to be working with Aunt Cassidy doing hair. she must've noticed my change in mood so she clears her throat and shifts in her seat.

"So, how's school treating you?" she asks, trying to change the subject.

"It's... okay," I mumble, my voice barely above a whisper.

"I remember when I was your age. We had some wild times, didn't we? Like that summer at the beach?" Her eyes light up with the memory.

"Yeah," I reply.

 "You know, I'm always here if you want to talk, right?"

I nod, though the words feel stuck in my throat.

"So, if you're ever feeling down...just call me okay? I'm here for you. I know we never really had a great relationship, but I want to try, I really do Amore you're not alone in this. no matter how much you think you are, you aren't. we're all grieving."

"Thanks," I say genuinely. "I really do appreciate you trying."

Eventually, we finish lunch, and I head home.

When I step inside, I find my mom at the kitchen table, a steaming cup of coffee in front of her. 

"Hey, Mom," I say softly.

"Hey," she replies, her gaze fixed on the swirling patterns in her coffee.

 "Are you feeling okay?" I ask, hoping to break the silence.

She looks up, and for a brief moment, our eyes meet. There's a flicker of recognition, but it quickly fades. "I'm fine, just tired," she responds, turning her gaze back to the table.

A pang of loneliness strikes me, a reminder of how far apart we've drifted. "Okay," I murmur, retreating to my room.

Once inside, I pull out my phone, scrolling through my contacts until I find Azriel's name. With a few taps, I send him a quick message: 

Me: Can you come over?

Moments later, my phone buzzes. 

Azriel: On my way.

A small smile forms on my lips.

 I lie back on my bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for him to arrive.