Without You

4

Tragedy.

Does anyone really know when it strikes? does anyone follow clues or listen to the voices in the back of their head.

I woke up alone in the room. my body sore my face stinging.

And naked.

I started to cry full on sobbing as I realized what happened. my clothes are scattered, and I can still hear faint music coming from downstairs.

I squeeze my eyes shut as I try to tell myself that nothing happened, that I'm okay. I put my clothes back on.

I felt confused. I felt dirty. I felt used.

I wanted nothing more than to go home and cuddle up in my sheets with Azriel.

Azriel. I need to find him.

I go downstairs to see the house still packed, I ignore peoples stares as I make my way into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water. 

"Where have you been for the past hour?" Daisy asks. I drop the water bottle and walk past her. 

"I need to find Azriel," I whisper clutching my stomach. 

I feel so sick

"Azriel?" I whisper seeing him laughing with them. 

Alex looks at me and then nudges the other blond one and they both look at me.

I feel my heart start hammering in my chest and I look away from them and at Azriel.

"Azriel?" I feel tears sting my eyes as I make my way over to him. 

Do not look at them 

Do not look at them

Do not look at them

My eyes betray me, and I let my gaze wander. they watch my every step, my every move. 

I touch Azriel's arm scared he'll push me away he simply stares at me. so I inch closer.

He does nothing, it's like he's deciding if he'll walk away.

The mere thought has my heart breaking.

I wrap my arms around him breathing in his scent praying he won't push me away.

Don't cry

Don't cry

Don't cry

Don't feel

He tenses up as I grab onto his sweatshirt fisting the fabric in my hands I bury my head in his chest. 

"Please don't let me go," I whisper.

"Are we going outside?" I hear Alex voice, and I tense up.

Azriel places his hands on my arms and gently pulls me away from him.

"You shouldn't have come." he says before walking away taking my heart with him.

I fall to the ground, and everything seems to get loud, very loud. 

The voices, the music, the voices, the laughter, the voices, the pain, the voices.

I try and stand up, but it feels like my legs are going to give out.

I need something, something, something, something. 

I stumble into the kitchen and grab a bottle of Vodka and twist the cap open.

"There you go!" Taylor says as I start drinking straight from the bottle.

Don't feel

Don't feel