Hakeem's Karma (EDITING)

Nineteen.

Karma Janelle Menace

"Hey baby" I said as I walked up to Keem and kissed him.

"Hey baby, can we talk about something?" He said with. A nervous look on his face.

"Yeah just let me get my stuff and we can talk in my room" I said as I went to the car and he followed getting bags out.

We went to my room and I put my stuff up as he said on the bed while playing with his hands.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing" he said not even looking at me.

"Okay well what you wanted to talk about. I said as I stood in front of his .

"Look baby" he sighed. "I did some shit and I can't take it back" he said as he sighed.

"What did you do Hakeem?" I said as I started to get worried.

"My ex girlfriend, saw her some months back and some shit happened"

"What shit Hakeem?" I said as my nose flared up from me getting bad.

"We fucked and she pregnant but I don't think it's mine" Hakeem said really fast but I understood everything he said .

I smacked him as hard as I could. I watched him grab his face that was starting to get red. I started to breathe heavy.

"I deserved that but listen baby" he said

"Get out!" I yelled

"I'm not leaving, so you wasting your time" he said calmly still sitting down.
It was really making me mad that he wasn't listening to me.

"I don't want to talk I just want you to leave" I said

He stood up and got in my face
"I'm not loosing you over something this stupid." he said

"You call getting another girl pregnant stupid"

"It ain't mine" he shrugged

"How you know? You did cheat on me with her"

"But I wrapped it up , she known for being a liar"

"So are you, so get out." I said opening the door not looking at him. it hurts too much too look him in his eyes. I fell in love with a player and its nothing I can do about it.

"I'm out but just know you're mine and always will be, so I will be back"

He walked out and I slammed the door behind him. I put my back against the door and slid to the ground putting my face in my hands as tears rolled down my face. I trusted him and fell for him. I guess its time to get up and dust myself off. Trust don't live her no more.

-

It's been a week and I have not talked to anyone. I don't feel like it. I feel like shit, I feel like I will never be enough for anyone. Lia and Kam keep trying to talk to me but I just shake my head and walk away. I heard Kam and Keem don't talk or hang out as much and that my brother knew all along which made it worst.

I'm just sick of the games and lies. All I wanted to be was happy. I fell in love and I knew it wasn't gone be right but I let myself fall in love with a thug that has no heart thinking I was gone change his ways thinking he was actually faithful to me out of all the girls he had been with.

When I go to school I don't talk. I don't go to lunch and I drive to school and back by myself so I don't have to deal with people. I don't even go home after school I go to the park and just sit and look at all the happy kids have until their lives are ruined in high school with love.

I was now at the park eating ice cream. Watching as little kids play and laugh. I wish I could be as happy as I was when I was that young. The innocence, all you want to do when you are young Is grow up and now that I'm growing up I would do anything to be young again. 

School lets out in just two more weeks and then I graduate and go to A&T University. Yes, I got accepted but no one knew yet and I really don't feel like telling anyone I just wanna pack up and go. Spelman was great and I was accepted as well but I needed a move. Being in Atlanta was something I didn't want to do anymore. 

I was staring off Into space until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked over and saw Lela, Hakeem's little sister. She was giving me a low smile. she looked excited to see me but sad.

"Hey little bit" I said as I weakly smiled at her.

"I miss you Karma" she said with tears threatening to fall from her pretty little eyes.

"I miss you too kid, but don't cry I promise everything will be ok" I said to her as I pulled her into a hug. She nodded and looked at me as she wiped her eyes.

"Who are you here with?" I asked.

"Jenna and her mom" she said lowly.

"Oh okay go have fun baby girl," I said as I got up to leave because I felt myself getting emotional and I can't deal.

-

I was in my room eating ice cream watching Bob's Burgers when I heard a knock at my door. Before I could say something Lia walked in. She held up some food and I just shook my head. All I eat is junk food now and I work out and run to keep myself in shape but I don't think I had a real meal in a week. She nodded and left out my room.

My stomach started to hurt and I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I have been throwing up for a little while. I thought it was because I was bout to get on my period but I have not had that come yet either. I schedule a doctor's appointment for next week to find out what's going on.

I might be pregnant.

I brush the thought off and just continued to eat my ice cream and watch tv.

My phone vibrated and I looked down to see Hakeem's number. I hit ignore and laid out in my bed letting out a big sigh.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.