Love protection (book 1: to be loved)

I trust him

Abby POV: 

— This is a really bad idea. This is a terrible idea, Abby. Samuel retorted. He is better not! If he talks about magic, he could break the magic secret and they'll throw him into oblivion! Imagine that.

— I know my dad, he'll be surprised, but he'll get used to the idea. He can accept the idea ! She replied, convinced.

— You don't know what you're talking about. You want to turn his whole world upside down.

— He doesn't have to be involved! I want him to know the truth for you, for us! We've been together for 6 months and I'm lying to him! I held back from raising my voice.

— Your father's been a Muggle all his life. For 50 years! Do you really want to tell him that magic exists, that we've been hiding this information from him for all these years? Frustration mounted, Abby tensing, annoyed at Samuel. Oh, listen, magic's been around forever and we're hiding it right under your nose! Samuel changed his tone, adamant, pissing her off even more. It's not a good idea! A terrible one !

She stood up, walking to calm herself down so she wouldn't burst.

— You told me! After two months !

— I knew I could trust you! Even then, I was afraid you'd never speak again! If I didn't tell you, I couldn't have a real relationship with you !

— I've adjusted! He can do it, understand and accept! All I want is to be able to tell the truth! To stop lying to him!" she blurted out, losing her temper.

— Telling him is a bad idea! It's too risky! He raised his voice, then regretted it. It's better if we talk about it more calmly!

— She clenched her fists and stopped walking. He'd better not be doing this. Not for you! Risky for you! I want to tell him! He'll accept! The tone is categorical, a decision made for her.

— It's not a decision you make on your own! he says, his tone rising.

— No, because I need your signature on a piece of paper !

— For Merlin' sake, Abby, think... he breathed. This is a two— person decision. Let's talk about it, but...

— But what?" she interrupted, pushing him further. So you can try and discourage me !

— I want to talk about it calmly, he shouted, standing up. He started counting as he breathed.

She went further to sit down, trying to calm herself, trying to clear her thoughts. Breathe in, breathe out, repeat. She just wants to think about her breathing, let the unfair flood of angry thoughts calm down, Samuel who.... She saw her shadow.

— I've got... could you give me a moment? she said without looking up. I don't want to drop it on you.

He left and the bedroom door closed. She picked up her headphones, creating her bubble. She ended up completing her columns, as she'd been taught as a child in therapy. What she did was impose her decision, lose her composure, not listen. What she felt was easy, creating the first reasons for this reaction. Hating lying to her father created anger, too much anger created unfair feelings towards Samuel for his refusal. He shouted, which was the first time. His anger prevented him from listening to Samuel, who quite rightly wanted to talk calmly. She's beginning to see the reasons, the other consequences of telling the truth, the consequences for her father, for Samuel, for the magical world. It no longer sounds like such an easy idea.

She tapped hesitantly on the bedroom door.

— Samuel? he answered. I shouldn't have shouted, sorry. She said, standing up.

— I shouldn't have done that either.

She sat down next to him, starting to talk.

— I want a future with you, I want it all. I want a family with you, when we're ready. I know I can't keep lying to my dad like this. I can barely do it now. I don't want to upset his whole world, but at the same time I can't keep lying, not to him. I looked at Samuel, who realised I'd finished talking.

— I want this future too. What we have is better than my dreams. Our life, this us. My heart melted. I want the present here. I want the future, you, our marriage, our house, children. I've never been so happy, so fulfilled, every day as I have since I told you my secret. You make me feel light and happy.

She smiled. He brought her hand closer and took it, squeezing gently, affectionately. She now understood his side, his arguments against it.

— You... Samuel resumed. You deserve to tell the truth. I was braced. Why don't we work together to find a way of telling your father?

She looked at him surprised, without words.

— Would you do that? It's your name and your responsibility that's at stake.

— I know," he calmly replied. You deserve to be able to be you and not lie any more. You trust your father, I trust him. He's already asking questions.

— He... reminded me strongly that he was there, that I could tell him anything and that his door would be open, even at night. He's wondering if I'm secretly unhappy or abused with you. He threatened you without me to not hurt you, or even think about it.

— Yes, he smiled. It was... perfectly adorable. My parents would never have done it. He's asking himself questions and he'll be surprised when he gets his answers.

— Yes, magic, pointy hat, flying broomstick, wand and potion, she recalled, smiling, in reference to her own discovery.