Love protection (book 1: to be loved)

This is your card ?

Abby POV: 

5 January 2007:

It had been a sweet day, but the shadow of unfulfilled desire hung over her heart. She had been spending time with Scorpius, Astoria and Draco's son, for almost a month. An adorable little boy, full of life and innocence, with his crystalline laughter filling the house. Abby admired him and played with him, her hands tenderly caressing his blond hair, as if every moment spent with him was a promise of a future she dreamed of but couldn't reach.

Despite the love she felt for this little being, part of her felt jealous. No, it wasn't Astoria's fault or Draco's, but the pain of envy seeped through. She and Samuel were trying desperately to conceive, but the endometriosis was complicating things. Each failure was another wound. Every month was another disappointment. Each missed cycle became a mountain of hope, followed by a precipitous fall when the test remained hopelessly negative. It wasn't just a physical battle against endometriosis, but also an emotional one, an invisible battle of hope.

Seeing Astoria, so natural in her role as a mother, made the pain more acute. She admired her grace, the ease with which she looked after Scorpius. Astoria seemed to embody everything Abby wanted and couldn't achieve.

She and Samuel talked about it, but true to form, he listened, reassured, also saddened by every negative test. She could see the shadows in his eyes when he looked at Scorpius or when they met other parents with their children. He too was suffering. Abby often sighed silently, trying to contain the wave of emotions that washed over her. They had taken all the help they could get: hormones that made her terrible, potions, remedies, advice. But despite everything, the emptiness remained, and the wait dragged on and on.

Scorpius was finally in bed, his steady breathing echoing softly through the baby monitor. The evening for the adults could now begin, but Abby wasn't in the mood to enjoy the peace and quiet or the company of Draco and Astoria. Her mind was too cluttered, too heavy. Her emotions hard to contain tonight.

She found herself sitting with Draco and Astoria, her hands clasped around a cup of tea, trying to absorb some of the warmth that contrasted with the cold that weighed on her heart. Astoria listened attentively, her eyes full of compassion, with Draco at her side.

— Stupid potions don't do anything,' Abby murmured, her voice trembling. Why can't we? Why is it so complicated for us?

She couldn't help feeling a mixture of anger and despair.

— Potions haven't done you any harm,' he joked, his voice tinged with a lightness that usually made Abby smile. But this time, she couldn't even manage a smile. Draco sensed this and his expression became more serious. It's not working yet,' he continued. That's the most important thing, you mustn't give up.

Abby glared at him, bitterness swelling inside her like an uncontrollable wave.

— Positive thinking, is that your card?' she quipped with an unusual coldness in her voice. Samuel and I just want what you're lucky enough to have! She turned her head towards Astoria, watching her sitting there, her eyebrows slightly furrowed. Abby felt guilty for being so acerbic towards her friends, but the pain was too much. She wanted someone to understand what she was going through. Draco ran a hand through his hair, visibly unsettled.

— Sometimes, the more you want it, the less it can come... he said softly, almost in a whisper.

Abby's words flew out before she could even hold them back.

— No! Not you too! I hate that advice!' she almost shouted, her voice trembling with emotion. That's easy for you to say !

The tears threatened to flow, but she fought them back. She stood up abruptly, unable to stay there another second. Anger and sadness swirled around her, uncontrollable. She left the room, her heart heavy, and joined Samuel in the kitchen. Without a word, she threw herself into his arms, seeking refuge in his silent embrace.