Love protection (book 1: to be loved)

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Abby POV

Abby lay in their bed, her body still heavy and sore from childbirth. The Caesarean scar pulled with every movement, and she hated the feeling of immobility. She couldn't move much, not as much as she wanted. It was frustrating to feel so dependent. Samuel, Astoria, Draco... they did everything they could to help her, but she would have preferred to be able to do everything herself. She wanted to be able to look after Luna without always having to rely on others.

She looked at her daughter, snuggled up to her, taking her bottle. Abby felt her heart swell with love. Yet this feeling was often accompanied by a sense of frustration: she couldn't breastfeed and had to use a pump, and she couldn't carry Luna as she would have liked. Samuel did everything, especially at night, and although she was grateful, it made her feel useless. She loved her daughter more than anything, but it wasn't meant to be like this.

Abby lifted her slightly and tried to help her burp, gently patting her back as she rocked her. Luna didn't succeed, starting to cry. The second technique didn't work, her discomfort increasing.

— Come on, sweatheart,' she murmured, her voice soft but tinged with tiredness. I know it's not pleasant, but it'll be better once it's out.

Luna whimpered, swallowing too much air, her face tightening. Abby felt her heart clench with every cry. She wanted to cry too, but she knew that Luna felt everything. She had to stay calm.

— I don't know how to help you any more,' she whispered in despair.

Just then, there was a soft knock on the door. Without thinking, Abby answered.

— She can't burp, I can't help her... I've already changed position, but nothing helps,' she said with a sigh.

Astoria came in slowly, her face serene, and sat down next to Abby with a soothing smile.

— We can try another method if you like,' she suggested. Put her head on one of your thighs, support her, and massage gently with the other hand.

Abby followed Astoria's instructions. And almost miraculously, after a few seconds, Luna finally burped. Abby was filled with immense relief and smiled through her tears of tiredness and frustration.

— Yes, that's it,' she whispered to her daughter, a trembling smile on her lips. Mum's here. Thank you, Astoria.

Astoria smiled softly in return, placing a comforting hand on Abby's shoulder.

— You're doing really well,' she said.

Abby let out a nervous laugh, feeling overwhelmed by her emotions.

— I don't think so,' she admitted, shaking her head. I know she feels everything, and I never know if I'm doing the right thing. There are so many moments when I feel... lost.

Astoria nodded, her smile as reassuring as ever.

— It's normal, you know. You have to learn to be a parent. Nobody knows everything the first time round. I didn't know with Scorpius either.

— You seem to be handling it so much better,' replied Abby, admiringly.

— I've learned,' replied Astoria. It's a myth that you automatically know how to look after a baby. We all make mistakes. The important thing is to love them and adapt.

Abby sighed deeply, the weight of her emotions making her even more vulnerable.

— I wish I could get out of this bed, get up and walk around with her... she said in a voice that was barely audible.