Thoughts Turning to Ink on Paper

Is It Too Much To Ask?

There's a rift, 

A rift that's constantly growing

Ever since a year ago, 

It is gradually growing 

A crack that is spreading to my entire being

One that is possibly irreparable 

I am doing my best, 

But is it good enough? 

No

It's not

It never will be

Someone who I call a mother

Loses it when I tell her plans

Plans that I want to make

Plans that I want

Plans I want to do

I want to see my boyfriend

For his birthday and New Year's

I want to be with him for those days

Is that too much to ask? 

Apparently it is

Since she loses her shit

Whenever I bring up my plans

It's not interfering with family plans at all

I'm sure we're not doing much this year, 

Like the past few years, 

I know I can't have him come over

I don't trust them with him,

So I'm going to him

I'm 21 years old

I'm an adult

I want to be treated like one

Not like a child where I can't make my own choices

I want to be respected 

I want my boyfriend to be respected

I can't handle all of htis

I can't handle the pressure I put myself under

Where I pretend that I"m fine

When I know I'm not

All because of them