Nightmares And Seashells

chapter twelve

During the reaping Avery felt numb.

She didn't care if she'd be reaped, she didn't even know if she cared if she died in the games.

But she wasn't reaped, and she didn't watch the games either.

She just went through her days, a ghost of herself. The only time she felt anything was when she'd get home to Finnick and that was only so she could make sure they both ate and slept. Not that they did much of either.

Her and Finnick didn't go back to the house. He had told her he wasn't ready.

Avery was honestly glad he had made that decision. As she couldn't even look at the burnt house without bursting into tears.

Walks to and from the academy made her cry to, remembering all the days she would joke with her best friend. Her best friend she would never make laugh again.

Finnick hadn't left the house, a peacekeeper had informed him after the reaping. That Mags and the other district four victor Marshall would take care of the tributes while he buried his dead.

That was about a week ago.

As far as she could gather from school, the games were almost over. But four was already out of the running.

"I'm home!" She called, knowing she wouldnt get a response.

Walking straight to the bathroom, to clean her bloody knuckles.
She had been a little too rough training at the academy recently. But in her eyes it was a good way to get rid of the rage. Rage at the capital, rage at the games, rage at snow.

"You're late again today." Said finnick leaning on the doorframe.

"I took the long way home around the back. I didn't want to see... " She replied

"Could you help?" She said changing the subject and showing finnick her hands.

Coming into the bathroom finnick held her hands in his larger ones. Sighing as he grabbed everything to wrap them.

"You know as well as I do, he wouldn't want you hurting yourself. And he'd kick my butt for letting you. Well he'd try." Finnick said a half smile at the thought of his little brother.

"I know..." She said watching as he finished her second hand.

"I miss him Fin.. every day I walk into school and it's like I'm waiting for him to come walking in. Smiling away like nothing happened. But he doesnt, he can't... Then when the day's over, I walk home, alone. For the first time in my life. Every time i walk passed that house I see it all over again. Everything just feels so wrong.." She said setting her hands in her lap when he let go.

"I know Aves, there's nothing I wouldn't give to have Cas back. I see him everytime I look in the mirror. I see him in every shell in this house. I see my mom in the garden Mags has out back." Finnick said sorrow thick in his voice.

"But we can't bring them back. I just had to put my baby brother in the ground next to my dad. I need you to take care of yourself. I can't handle losing anyone else."

A few days later Mags was home. She immediately upon walking in the house. Pulled both teens into a bone crushing hug, knocking their heads together in the process, due to her small frame.

She started making them eat together at breakfast and dinner. She also had finnick help her in the garden out back since he still wouldn't leave the house. Avery went to school every day, and walked home around the back of the house to greet them when she got there.

After her conversation with Finnick in the bathroom and Mags being back and mothering the pair like her life depended on it.

Avery became more of herself. He was right, Caspian wouldn't want her letting herself waste away.

So as the months dragged on she got stronger. She practiced harder and longer even after school. She had finnick help her. Guilting him by saying he had told her he'd be her sparing partner again, but knowing more so it was a good way to release negative emotions.

The seasons were changing and she slowly felt like she could smile again. Especially when her, Mags and Finnick would sit together as she thought them different weaving techniques and fishhooks they don't even teach in school.

They were a family. A broken one. But they still had each other so that was all they held onto.

after school she would walk the long way home. Avery had started to visit Caspians grave. Just to tell him about her day. She kept that routine for 2 more months.

It wasn't until one rainy day, as she was walking out of the school building she stopped.

Finnick was standing at the bottom of the stairs. It was the first time she'd seen him out of the house since losing his family.

"Are you just going to stand there staring? or are you going to let me walk the birthday girl home?" He asked sending her a genuine smile.

"Finnick you're outside!" She said walking up to him as he adjusted his umbrella to cover them both.

"Well I couldn't let you get soaked on your 15th birthday now could I?" He asked.

"Here" He said handing her a small poorly wrapped package.

"Mags tried to help me wrap it but I said no." He sheepishly admitted

"In hindsight I probably should have let her.."

Avery opened it carefully and had to choke back a sob when she saw what he had given her.

It was a famed picture slightly burnt on the bottom corner. It was her Finnick and Caspian the year before, standing in front of a giant sand castle. Finnick had put tiny seashells all along the frame.

Then without having to think about it she kissed the blonde boy on the cheek before pulling him into a bone crushing hug.

"I couldnt have asked for anything more perfect. Thank you Finny." She said before pulling away and looking at her best friends smiling face again.

A/N
This was kind of just a filler chapter. I'm just leading up to Avery's games.