Field of Emotions

Chapter 2

"Bakit ka umiiyak?" nag-aalalang saad ko at napatayo sa kinauupuan.

Tumayo ako sa harap niya at medyo yumuko para makita ang mukha niya.

He shook his head and avoided my gaze but I was persistent. "Sian. Tell me, why are you crying? Is it because of Iris?" umiling siya.

I chuckled and wiped his tears. "Eh bakit ka umiiyak?" I said.

Tumingin siya sa akin at may luha pang namumuo sa mga mata. "Bakit hindi mo ako pinapansin?" tanong niya na parang bata.

Halos matawa pa ako sa sinabi niya pero tumigil ako at sa halip at kungunot ang noo. "Ano ba gusto mo sabihin ko?" pigil tawa na tanong ko sa kanya. "Pagod na voice box ko sa kakachismis sayo kanina. I'm just taking a break, hindi naman ibig sabihin non hindi na kita papansinin." paliwanag ko sa kanya.

He suddenly grabbed my hands, his grip firm yet gentle. "Hindi ka galit?" he said, his voice shaky. "Hindi mo ako pagagalitan?"

I was taken aback by his words. Bakit ko naman siya pagagalitan? Bakit ako magagalit?

"Hindi, bakit naman kita pagagalitan, aber? Wala naman nakakarating sa akin na may ginawa kang masama." sabi ko at sinubukang alisin ang kamay ko sa kamay niya.

He just cried even more. "Bakit hindi mo ako pinapansin noong nakaraang linggo?" he cried.

I grabbed the opportunity to remove his grip from me and sat beside him with enough space as respect for his and Iris's relationship. What he said was true. It was true that I had been distant, but I didn't realize others had noticed, especially Sian. What can I do? That's my habit. If I was hurt, I will distance myself until I can manage to socialize again. That's how I cope...temporarily.

Sian sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Ysabelle, we're friends. Alam mo kung ano ang agreement natin. You can open up to me, you don't have to take everything on your own."

I nodded, but remained silent. How could I tell him about the things happening at home? How could I explain the constant feeling of disappointment and the pressure I felt? I didn't want to burden him with my problems. But looking at Sian, seeing the genuine concern in his eyes, I realized maybe I didn't have to carry everything on my own.

I took a deep breath and began to explain everything to him. As I spoke, I could see his expression change from surprise to understanding. He didn't interrupt me, just listened attentively, his gaze never leaving mine.

Sian...bakit ang bait mo lagi sa akin?

When I finally finished, there was a long silence. I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders, but at the same time, I was anxious about how he would react.

Finally, he spoke. "Pero hindi ka nag-iisa. Nandito ako, diba best friends tayo nina Gio at Kiel? Nandito si Lola Meli. Marami kaming nandito para sayo."

His words brought tears to my eyes. I nodded, grateful for his support. "Thank you, Sian," I said, my voice barely a whisper.

He gave me a small smile and squeezed my hand reassuringly. "Anytime, Ysabelle. Anytime."

Pinahid ko ang luha at mahina siyang pinalo. "Sian naman eh. Pinapaiyak ako." sabi ko.

He chuckled and heaved a deep sigh. "Hay, Lizzy. Tara na sa baba. I can smell your favorite sinigang already."

Inalalayan niya akong tumayo at magkasabay kaming bumaba ng hagdan. He was right, sinigang was already served at the table. Lola Meli smiled at us when she saw me.

"Hija, kain ka na. Hindi dapat nagugutom ang prinsesa." nakangiting saad ng matanda sa akin kaya hinigit ko na si Sian papunta sa table.

We sat there and prayed first before eating. Sian and I were sitting right next to each other and Lola was sitting on the opposite side of ours. Sasandok na sana si Sian ng ulam ng paluin ni Lola Meli ang kamay niya dahilan para matawa ako ng palihim. Kita ko ang pagtaas ng kilay ni Sian ng makitang nakatakip ang ng bibig pero agad naman iyong napalitan ng maliit na pagngiti/