Bad Enough For You (Auslly) <EDITING>

Admitting...

That day dragged on forever, and music class felt like it was going on for 100 hours. I would normally enjoy music but since Austin was in my class I couldn't concentrate. The nerves of Thursday, and that Austin was sat so close built up inside of me. How could I let this happen?

I don't know what to do! It didn't help when Austin was telling, no, boasting to everyone about the appearance on the Helen Show. Some things never change. I rolled my eyes and looked down at my text book writing in code multiple plans for how I'm going to sort my life out. Nothing was decided.

Music is more writing than practical work. Thinking about theories and techniques. The whole hour I ignored Austin, not that I didn't want to talk to him, but because I was probably going to blurt out that I liked him or that I'd eavesdropped on his conversation.

He tried whispering to me during the lesson but I pretended that I couldn't hear him. He tried passing notes to me, but I didn't read them. He tried poking my arm, but I shrugged it off. I know I was being ignorant and stubborn, but I couldn't say anything to him without it coming out wrong or stupid, I mean, who knows what could happen?

The lunch bell rang and I literally ran out of class. Austin was calling behind me but I didn't stop. I saw Trish on the field and grabbed her arm, pulling her swiftly towards a bush and hid behind it.

"Alright, I'm giving you 3 seconds to explain why you just did that." She demanded.

I was breathing heavily. "I can't Trish! I can't work with Austin! Now that I know he likes me, I can't act normal! I can't think of anything to say to try and act like nothing's happened. I can't talk to him otherwise I'll spill everything to him!" I said quickly.

She put her hands on my shoulders and looked at my face. "Calm down Ally, alright, just forget about it all! Just focus on something else, like the quiz on Friday. Deep breaths." I obeyed and breathed deeply 3 times. "This is your dream isn't it? Your songs getting out there to the world for fans to enjoy and love. For your music to reach parts of the world we've never even heard of. And unfortunately, Austin's a big part of that. So you just need to act professional in front of him until we sort something out."

"Fine, I guess you're right." I nodded, pushing all my feelings down.

She gave me a weird look. "Of course I am!" She smiled.

We walked back out to where Dez and Austin were. As soon as Austin saw me he stood up and walked towards me. He stopped when he got to where I was and looked at me.

Trish continued walking. I tried to walk forward but Austin got in the way. "Hey, can I talk to you?" He asked, almost nervously. I nodded, still not speaking and we walked a few steps away from where Trish and Dez were. I kept repeating Trish's words in my head so I didn't freak out. "act professional in front of him", I could do that, right?

"What's going on? You were fine with me this morning, now you won't even look me in the eye." He said desperately. I was looking at the ground at this point.

He was right, I couldn't look him in the eye. I shrugged, still looking at the ground.

"Ally, I'm serious. I'm so nervous about Thursday, and I need you to keep me from running off." He said. "I need you."

I managed to get a few words out. "Austin, I - I - I....I'm sorry." I stuttered before running off. Why was I running? I chickened out. I guess I was nervous. I don't even know!

I hid behind the bush again and sat down. I heard footsteps behind me. "Trish, I couldn't talk to him. I couldn't." I said, but when I looked up at the person, it wasn't Trish. I jumped up.

"Why not?" Austin asked concerned. I took a deep breath and spoke.

"Austin, I'm sorry I ran off, and didn't talk to you, I'm just not feeling myself today. Why do you even like me?" I blurted out. Realising what I'd just said, I debated whether to take it back and rephrase or hoping, praying that he thinks I meant it in a friendly way.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Because I....." Then he stopped and his eyes widened. "You heard the conversation between Dez and I, didn't you?" He asked turning a bright shade of red.

I nodded guiltily. His hand covered his mouth in shock. "Ally, if you don't like me then it's fine, I can move on." He started to say but I stopped him.

"No, I do like you, that way." I smiled.

His eyes widened in disbelief. "Seriously?" He asked. I nodded. He smiled.

"But, I think we should stay friends and partners until your career has taken off. You know what they say, don't mix business with pleasure." Why did I say that? I instantly regretted it when I saw the light fade in his eyes.

His smile dropped. "If that's what you want." He said. I nodded. WHY? I have to think more about my actions. He smiled again and then we walked back to Dez and Trish.