Broken Speed | Verstappen & Leclerc

08 | normal day

-|- Monaco -|-

We now were back for a few days already, recovering the first ones after the return as the kids and myself were completely exhausted from the weekend. It was totally understandable  as we had been on out feet four days long while before only chilling at home.

Still it was a very good experience, a helpful few days, especially my conversation with Charles in the public bathroom. He was right, the kids were happy and only worried about me. Even though I still had the opinion that was a shitty parent, I tried to be more positive.

I slept better, still with nightmares, but not as many as before, and I put proper effort into my look. I cleaned the whole apartment and seeing how Luka's and Lio's eyes got even bigger, them getting even happier, seeing me like that, it warmed my heart.

Also I started eating again, not as much as I should, but still, a few bites every meal so my stomach could get used to it. However had that also bad effects as I saw how the food build fat on my body, how my stomach was growing, how I started feeling disgusted about myself again.

But I just avoided any mirrors and kept my style with the wide shirts, sweaters and jogging pants so I was fine for now. Today though was a very special day, well it was a normal day, but for us special as we hadn't had a 'normal' day in a very long time.

It all had to do with Charles, who really texted me two days ago, asking if he could still fulfill his promise and join me and the kids at the playground or anything like that. Instantly I had texted him back that it would be awesome to him him join as I knew the kids would love it.

"So does he also live here? Are you neighbors?" Luka asked while walking down the street on my hand, Lio holding my other one.

"Yes, he lives here too, he's born here actually, so fully Monegasque." I explained while having to smile at that fact.

There had been a time where Charles and I had always mocked each other, me telling him that he was French while he kept saying 'that Belgium guy', which wasn't even that wrong, but since I raced under the Dutch flag it was still annoying.

"Is that why there was the red and white flag at the podium? The one that is hanging from the houses here?" the boy asked further, pointing at some house where the Monegasque flag was hanging.

It was cute how he now got into that age where he questioned everything and everyone, talking nonstop, but it was nice as I had gotten quite quiet after what had happened.

"Yes, that's the flag of Monaco, his home country and the country we're in at the moment."

"But why aren't we in the Netherlands? You always had the Dutch racing flag, didn't you?"

"You're right, I had." I returned and brushed through his hair, "But a lot of drivers and other athletes live here in Monaco, so they're all together and here they don't have to deal with so many fans as almost only rich and famous people live here."

"But aren't you also a fan of other people?" Luka asked as we reached the playground, where Lio was immediately running over to the little slide.

"What do you mean honey?" I returned, lifting an eyebrow.

"Aren't you a fan of Charles for example, or other drivers? Or football players?"

I had to laugh at his remark, once because I tried to overplay the redness that I felt in my cheeks after the mention of the Monegasque and second because he was just too cute, not quite understanding my point.

"Of course I'm a fan of other athletes, not drivers though as in formula one we're all rivals." I explained and smiled, "But I don't run after someone on the street or ask for a picture when I see someone."