Twisted Loyalties

22

The guilt was twisting inside me, the weight of it almost unbearable.

Julian had been dealing with losing his mom, something unimaginable, and I'd been so wrapped up in my own hurt that I hadn't even noticed.

The tears came harder, slipping down my cheeks as I tried to pull myself together, but my voice was trembling.

"Julian... I'm so, so sorry." I looked at him, my vision blurred, barely able to get the words out. "I should've been there. I should have known something was wrong... instead, I just kept making it about me. I was so selfish."

He reached over, his hand warm and steady against my cheek, brushing away my tears.

His touch felt gentle, and somehow grounding, like he was trying to bring me back from my spiral of guilt.

"Sabrina, you couldn't have known," he said softly, his tone calm, almost soothing. "You're not selfish."

I shook my head, struggling to find the right words, my throat tight. "But... why didn't you stop me, Julian? When I was going on about you pushing me away, why didn't you just tell me what was happening?"

His gaze softened, and he let out a sigh, one that sounded heavy, worn down. "Because it's true, Sab," he said, his voice quiet but sure. "I did push you away."

The simplicity of his confession took the air from my lungs. I clutched his hand, needing the connection, the reminder that I was here with him now.

"You didn't have to go through it alone," I whispered, my voice thick with regret. "You could've leaned on me."

He looked down at our intertwined hands, a flicker of something painful crossing his face. "It didn't feel that simple. I... I didn't want to pull you into it. Into all the mess that was happening."

I tried to understand, to see it from his side, but it hurt all the same. "Julian, I would've been there, no matter how messy. You know that, right?"

He was silent for a moment, his thumb gently tracing circles over my hand, and then he looked up at me, eyes filled with that same quiet sadness. "I know that. But I was... lost. After she died, I didn't know who to lean on, how to even ask."

Another tear slipped down my cheek, and I didn't bother brushing it away this time. "You can ask me, Julian. Even now. You don't have to keep carrying this alone."

For a moment, we just stood there, the silence between us feeling heavy but somehow healing. He gave my hand a squeeze, a silent acknowledgment, and I could feel that maybe, just maybe, we were starting to mend.

Seeing Sabrina's tears broke something in me. The way her face twisted, raw with guilt and pain—it hurt more than I expected.

I reached over, gently wiping the tears off her cheeks, trying to calm her down.

"Please don't cry because of this," I said, my voice soft. I didn't want to see her like this, and knowing it was because of me, because of everything I hadn't told her... it weighed on me.

But she didn't answer. Instead, she buried her head against my chest, her arms wrapping tightly around me as she whispered, "I'm so sorry, Julian. I'm so, so sorry."

Her words came out choked, muffled against me, and I could feel her grip tightening like she was afraid to let go.

Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around her, holding her closer, letting her feel that I was here, that I wasn't going anywhere.

I rested my chin on her head, taking a deep breath. "Come on," I murmured, rubbing her back gently. "Let's get out of here."

She looked up, her eyes red and shining, and I offered her a small, reassuring smile. I wanted to take her somewhere we could just breathe, away from all the noise and expectations.

Right now, I just wanted her to feel safe, to let her know that maybe, somehow, we could start finding our way back to each other.

As we reached the car, I opened the passenger door, waiting for Sabrina to settle in before shutting it gently behind her. I walked around, got into the driver's seat, and took a breath before starting the engine.

The drive was quiet, with only the soft hum of the radio in the background. Sabrina kept glancing out the window, her face still shadowed by the sadness from earlier, and I felt a pang of guilt watching her like that.

When we finally reached my place, I led her inside, guiding her through the dim hallway. Once in my room, I turned to her, noticing the way her ball gown, beautiful but slightly wrinkled, hung awkwardly after everything that had happened tonight.

"Here," I said, moving to my dresser. I pulled out a hoodie and a pair of sweats, then handed them to her. "You'll be more comfortable in these."

She nodded with a small smile, slipping away to change in the bathroom while I quickly switched into a t-shirt and sweats myself.

A moment later, she returned, her figure wrapped in my clothes, making her look smaller, almost fragile—but the sight somehow felt so right, so natural.

We settled onto my bed, and she instinctively curled up beside me, resting her head on my chest as I wrapped an arm around her.

The warmth of her close like this brought back memories, and I held her a little tighter.

After a few quiet moments, she whispered, "I'm sorry... I just can't believe I didn't know. I'm so sorry, Julian."

Her voice was thick with emotion, and I felt her curl into me even more. I reached down, gently stroking her hair, feeling my own heart soften with every word she spoke.

"Hey," I murmured, trying to keep my tone gentle. "It's okay. It's not your fault, that you didn't know."

But her face only pressed closer into my chest, and I felt her inhale deeply, as if she was trying to take in as much comfort as she could.

I wanted to give it to her, to let her know that, despite everything that had come between us, she was still here—still with me.

After a pause, she looked up, her gaze meeting mine. I could see the regret in her eyes, a reflection of everything left unsaid between us.

And as she whispered another quiet apology, I tightened my hold, brushing a kiss against her forehead.

"I've got you, Sab," I said softly. "We're okay."

AUTHORS NOTEE

Mother and father are good again y'all!!

Ugh this is so cute!