Last Seen In San Francisco (Tony Perry)

• Mama, We All Go To Hell •

{ e i g h t e e n }

"Tony?" I asked into the phone sleepily, recognising his voice. My tone suddenly turned hard as I woke up a little, lifting my head up "how did you get my number?"

I'm really, really not in the mood for this. Alexis is staying at her flat because I'm still really annoyed at her- but that doesn't stop me from missing her presence around here. She's usually always here so it's just a little weird, and kind of lonely.

"U-um, I found it on Mikes phone." His tone was shy and he was quiet, I had to turn up my phones volume. I probably should've wondered how much he'd been through to have to find my number but I just sighed, I'm just really not in the mood for this lately. I just feel defeated.

"What is it Tone?" I think he could hear how done I was with everything, I'm not exactly hiding it. I lay my head back onto my pillow and looked over at Maddie sleeping next to me, curled up in a little ball.

"Just- uh, are you okay?" He took me off guard and I found myself slowly lifting my head up again, feeling my eyes widen and a weird fuzzy feeling in my stomach all over again. It's just memories, Lydia, you're head is in the past.

"What?" Slipped out of my mouth as a result of my surprise.

"Well you didn't really speak to any of us today, not even that Alexis girl, so I was just um- yeah..." I don't know whether he sounds genuinely concerned or he's just trying to make me lighten up to him again for whatever reason.

"I've just got a lot going on lately Tone." I couldn't help the nickname, Infact, I've never been able to stop it. Even when we used to argue, I'd always still use it.

"Do you uh, wanna talk about it?" I think he heard my frustrated sigh "look, Lydia, I'm really trying here. Please just work with me, I just want to be friends and see my daughter.

"You don't understand how hard my life has been knowing that I have a child that I'm not in the life of. I practically lost a baby Lydia, and on that same day I lost my fiancée."

"You lost me long before that Tony." I said softly, taking his rant into mind. He really has a way of fucking things up when he's trying to get his point across, but I think I'm actually starting to understand his language. He was silent for a few long seconds, just breathing into the phone.

"Well I didn't want too." He finally replied softly. It just occurred to me that we're not arguing for a change. He started talking again in that same soft tone, only this time he sounded a little more depressed "I just mess things up Lydia, but I promise you I will try so hard if you just let me meet Madison. Please."

"She's not in school tomorrow," I finally gave in "I'll have to bring her into work anyway, so just...don't overwhelm her okay. Don't screw this up." I made myself smile, I wouldn't have to bring her in, I'd have to sneak her in.

"Thank you." He sounded relieved. "So do you want to talk about stuff? Like... I know you're not okay."

Seeing Madison? That's one thing. But I can't get close to him again, I won't let myself, I can't handle going through that, not a second time. I'm just looking to settle down, not a drama series.

I'm especially not looking to go back to the place I was in 6 years ago with Tony Perry.

So I said no, we shared goodnights and I hung up the phone and lay back down, snuggling back into Madison and drifting back off to sleep.

*

"Madison! We're late baby come on!" I shouted back into my room, pouring orange juice into a sippy cup for her. She ran out of the room, dragging a blanket behind her and sat on the sofa. I handed her the juice and grabbed my keys before we both left.

When we drove past that billboard my face was no longer on it, now it's just an advert for some new kind of beer, and that made me smile a little.

"Okay Maddie, today we're going to Mommys work, is that okay?" I asked her, still keeping my eyes firmly on the road.

"Okay." She replied simply, sounding distracted.

"You're going to meet...Tony, and he has lots of tattoos and he is um," I glanced behind me in the car to see her playing with a packet that was left in the back seat. I sighed softly. Why is this so difficult to say. I'll just have to say it, like ripping off a plaster.

"Tony's your father, sweetie."

"What?" I didn't look back again, keeping my eyes on the car park and finally pulling into a space.

"Do you want to meet him?" I asked her, opening my door while she opened hers. We both got out together and I grabbed her hand while I locked the car.

"Yes!" She said excitedly jumping a little. I smiled a little nervously wondering how this will happen. I really hope he doesn't mess this up.

I hid her behind me a little as we walked in. I sent Joshua a small wave and pulled her into the elevator, clicking the button for my floor. There's the hard part over, now just the Tony part.

The time period between the elevator ride and reaching my office door really wasn't long enough. But here we are, this is it. She stood behind me as I clicked open the door and walked us both in, keeping my head down. I looked up as everybody's jaws dropped seeing her behind me.

I stepped to the side watching curiously as her face lit up and a big grin spread across her cheeks.

And then I cussed myself out, because I was so busy worrying about her meeting Tony that I'd forgotten that she'd grown so close to Mike, and watching everyone follow her with their eyes as she ran up to him and jumped on him made my stomach drop.

Then she shouted "Mikey!" And everybody turned to look between us both, probably wondering how the fuck he knew Tony's daughter before Tony did.