Last Seen In San Francisco (Tony Perry)

• Running Through My Dreams •

AN// YOU ARE ALL MY CHILDREN. FUCK I LOVE YOU GUYS.

{ f o r t y o n e }

We dropped Madison off together, the car only holding the slightest amount of tension that only tony and I will probably feel, and finally we arrive at Fearless.

I felt his hand grasp mine on the gear shifter as soon as I turned off the car. I turned to look over at him, seeing his usual shy smile and I couldn't help the curve of my lips.

"Just don't push me out okay?" He asked. He was so nervous about me ignoring him and hating him again that he was trying almost too hard. I don't even want to think about the kiss this morning, but it's there, in the back of my mind, haunting me.

"I won't." I told him.

My back pressed against my bedroom door as our lips stayed locked together. How could I let him in this easily? Don't I hate him? Didn't I? His lips left mine for a mere second and I couldn't think straight, why would he pull away? I pushed my head forward, my body automatically arching into him as I moulded our lips together again.

"Lyd?" Tony laughed, patting my hand. "We're already late. We have to go in." My hand was cold as he pulled his away and got out of the car. I followed suit, feeling like a fucking teenage girl with a stupid crush as I swooned over his smile.

I'm in my late twenties. I'm not supposed to swoon.

I locked the car and he waited for me to walk over to him so we could walk into the building together. I looked over to him as we walked, seeing his arms sway back and fore, his hands curling up...

I felt his hands curl up into my shirt, bunching it up across my stomach as his lips hastily pressed all over me. Not even in purpose; he kept missing my mouth and I'm not really aiming either. A kiss on my chin, back to my lips and suddenly his lips were on my neck-

"Lydia? You're zoning out so badly today. Are you still tired?" Tony asked me as we reach the building, pulling me out of my flashback again.

I need to get this morning out of my head.

"Uh, yeah, a little I guess." I replied, walking through the doors and towards the lift, Tony idly following behind me.

"Lydia!" A voice shouted from behind just as I was about to step into the lift. I glanced back, seeing Alex give me a wave to go over to him.

"I'll meet you up there." I told Tony, stepping away from the doors so they could close.

"Okay." He gave me the stupid swoon-worthy smile and the doors shut. I turned away and walked over to Alex, trying to get that fucking smile out of my head.

He smiled the widest I've seen since I said I'd marry him all those years ago as he pulled away, a small line of spit connecting both of our mouths.

Disgusting, although weirdly romantic. I don't know what to say to him. My legs feel like jelly, my entire body is aflame and I'm pretty sure that my hands are only gripping my jean pockets so tightly because I don't want to make it obvious that I'm shaking.

He leant forward again, but just as I thought he'd kiss me again his head travelled down until it was resting on my chest, his ear right above my heartbeat.

I really hope he can't hear how erratically it's beating right now.

"Lyd!" Alex snapped his fingers in front of my face, "Jesus woman, get some sleep or something. You've been staring at me for the past 5 minutes!" He joked, laughing lightly as he started walking and gestured for me to follow him.

"Yeah, sorry." I just replied. I'm sure that if I keep thinking so hard my head is just going to combust. It physically hurts because this morning has just been branded into my thoughts.

How could I let that happen?

Why did that happen?

When will it happen again?

"Anyway, do you want to get lunch or something? We need to catch up anyway, right?" Alex asked, staring at me weirdly. I shrugged it off.

"Sorry Lex," I let the nickname slip, giving him a sad smile, "I'm really late and the PTV guys are already behind schedule-" he cut me off, putting his finger on my lip and 'shh'ing me. If he wasn't Alex I probably would've slapped him or something.

"It's fine. Go work. Let me take your number though so we can meet up sometime though okay? I'm not working here for much longer. We're just helping out this new signed band." He explained and as he did he'd already handed me his phone, opening up a new contact label.

I wrote 'Lydia' in the name box and then hesitated. In the moment of hesitation part of me came crashing down, because I have so many names now that I don't know which one to go by. I felt a part of my identity ripping itself away from me as I hesitantly completed the name with 'Starr'.

Maybe it really is time to start accepting myself and coming to terms with my life. I am Lydia Starr; or at least, that's the name I've been under when I've had the best memories of my life.

AN// it's short but it's also 2am and I just wanted to give this to you guys because of the love the last chapter got (and because I'll be busy all weekend but shhh, mostly the love for the chapter)