Last Seen In San Francisco (Tony Perry)

• I've Been Acting Like I'm Strong •

AN// it's short but double update. This is because you guys have been so supportive and now I'm finally home and I can update regularly again and such. So here's my thank you to you guys...

{ n i n e t e e n }

I'd grown up for 19 years living with my overly religious parents. They weren't church goers, nor did they donate or even support the local Christian group, they just kept a cross above the fireplace and a bible tucked away in their bedside tables.

Every Sunday we would have a dinner and my father would say a short prayer, and I went along with it. For 19 years. I'd never been given the chance to make my own views about God or anything like that, I was just brought up to believe it like I'd believe anything else.

But that didn't mean that I'd follow my parents every word, or prayer or even think about religion, so when I was 16, discovering my first heart break and going through that teenage stage of depression, I questioned that if there was an all mighty high being who gave a fuck about everyone, where was he?

I did my fair share of research, I studied Christianity in school finding out all about Jesus and God. I thought it was complete bullshit, so I went home and I threw out the bible that I'd had in my bedroom since I was born because even though my parents were firm believers, it didn't mean that I had to be. If God was real, then so many of my questions were unanswered, and he was really screwing so many people over with his gift of life.

But even remembering all that about my past, even though I haven't spoken to my parents in almost 8 years since I walked out on them, when everyone eyes landed on me, including Alexis' concerned ones, I said a prayer in my mind. I was begging, if it was out loud I would've been on my knees, because looking at Pierce The Veil and my best friend, I realised something. This time Tony Perry didn't fuck up.

This time I did.

But I didn't do it on the minor scale or accidentally calling someone fat, or shouting at them, or stalking my friends to get their number, I introduced Madison to her fathers best friend before I introduced to her own father.

I felt shitty, I felt like a piece of gum stuck on the sidewalk, so what did I do to show it? I could barely mutter two words out, but I managed to.

"I'm sorry." It didn't even sound sincere. I've fucked up and I know I have.

"You're sorry? What the fuck Lydia?! How does Mike know her?" To my surprise Vic started shouting at me, getting closer to me before turning to Mike, turning to his own brother and then shouting at him too, "why did this not occur to me, huh?" He walked right up to his brother and Mike swiftly put Maddie down. She walked over to Alexis as Vic pushed Mike into the wall.

I looked over to Tony and I actually could feel tears forming in my eyes. I expected him to shout, but he just looked at me with the most hurt look on his face, and then I tuned back into Vic's shouting as I heard the dreaded words.

"So you kissed her and you met her daughter, what else, announcing the fucking wedding yet?" I didn't take my eyes off Tony and I felt a tear fall down my face as he turned away from me and leant into Jaime, whispering something into his ear before speed walking out of the door, leaving it to slam behind him.

Jaime looked at me in distaste before turning away. I looked at Vic to see him still angrily shouting things at Mike, who looked just as bad as me, and then I turned away from them too.

I finally looked at my best friend, who I haven't been on the best terms with for a few hours (that's a long time for us to argue) and as she saw my tear stained face, it was like a mutual agreement was found between us. I almost jogged over there, letting her pull me into her arms and feeling Madison stroke my back.

"I'm sorry, fuck Lex," I didn't even register the nickname even though the only person I'd ever called that was Alex. Everything was hitting me all over again. "I messed up."

"So did I," she reassure, squeezing me tighter against her "so does everyone. Just because you fuck up doesn't mean you need to be upset, this shit happens."

"Oh yeah," I laughed but the humour failed to be there "I totally fell onto his lips and Madison just so happened to meet him by accident and love him. Accidents happen though, right?"

"God I missed you, you bitch. Never ignore me again, it hurts." She said to me, then considerably lowered her voice to whisper the next bit "chase tony, take Madds and introduce them, just do it now, okay? They're too busy arguing to notice. Go." She ushered me off and before I could rethink it, I grabbed Maddie's hands and pulled her into a piggyback position making her giggle. We were out of the door and into the lift without a second glance.