𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ✹ 𝐠. 𝐠𝐢𝐛𝐬𝐨𝐧

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐱𝐢𝐢𝐢 - 𝐦𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐲 𝐤

Haven

He was avoiding me.
I could tell.
He thought he was being discreet but it was as clear as water that he was going out of his way to avoid me. And it fucking hurt.

He'd come over to the house at least 5 times since and each and every moment where we crossed paths and I tried to start a conversation, he'd detour it and give me some lame excuse and then bolt to Johnny. I hated that he wouldn't even say a hello when he stepped foot in my godforsaken house. But it's whatever, I guess it's for the better. I have Neal now, right? I don't need Gerard. Liar.

Ma claimed I was moping so she took me for a retail therapy trip. Perks of a designer mother, she has the style of a fashion icon so any trips for anything surrounding clothes or accessories always made me come home with pieces that highlighted me in any way a person can be highlighted. But as hard as I wanted to, my mind was buzzing away to my own inner turmoils. I had made so many wrong choices lately and it haunted my living breath.

Mothers always sense when their children are off and mine's sensors went on high alert when even as we entered my favorite stores, my eyes didn't light up as they always did. On the way home, we stopped for coffee. I stirred the straw of my drink more times than necessary and the movements were so abrupt the ice was clinking harshly with the glass. Mam sensed something was off, she was observant and the fact that I hadn't touched the slice of red velvet cake sitting in front of me made her mind go on overdrive.

I wanted to tell her everything from start to end. I craved motherly comfort and advice. Pride wasn't something I held so highly, I could admit I needed help and that I was wrong, but something about admitting to her that she was right and I liked Gerard made me feel helpless.

My eyes were on laser focus aimed at the condensation dripping off the glass. Ma cleared her throat and took a sip of her drink. "So angel," She started in her motherly tone "what's troubling you?"

"Nothing's wrong ma, I'm okay." I lied. She cocked a brow, I tilted my head.

"You sure love? I mean today at the shops you looked down and you've barely touched your sweet treat." She leaned back on the wooden chair. "You can tell me what's wrong Haven, I don't like seeing you this way."
Okay maybe I could tell her about Neal and leave out how shitty he is making me feel about Gerard.

"I went on a date last week." I blurt out. If ma was shocked, she didn't let it show.

"You did what, angel?" She asked with a soft tone, drowning her swirling thoughts on a sip of her coffee.

"I went on a date." I repeated, pausing my words "My first."
She nodded carefully and stayed quiet for a couple seconds, as if processing the words that left my mouth a few seconds ago. "And how was it, this date? Who was the lucky guy?"

"His name is Neal O'Connor." I tell her "He's the year above me."

Ma listened attentively, taking a second to drink her coffee and plan out her next words. Her expression was solemn. "Did you have a good time with him?" She tried to gauge how I felt about him. I shrugged in response, thoughts swirling through my head. "Yeah, I guess. He was nice and paid for the dinner so he at least has some kind of manners."
Ma went to reply to my words but I interrupted her "I mostly just went because we got set up."

That seemed to take her aback a bit and she raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow at me. I shrunk back in my seat as she overanalyzed my body language. "Did you like Neal?"
"As a person, maybe. As a romantic prospect, no" I replied truthfully. Ma nodded for what felt like the hundredth time today.

"Then why did you go on the date angel?" She leaned forward and folded her hands on the table as I fiddled with a loose string on my knit sweater's sleeve.