𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ✹ 𝐠. 𝐠𝐢𝐛𝐬𝐨𝐧

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐱𝐱𝐱𝐢𝐢 - 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

Johnny

The only word that could describe what I felt right now was pure and absolute rage. Were they fucking stupid? Did they think I wasn't going to find out?

How long has this scheming been going on? Days? Months? Years?

They said a few months but I don't think I believe anything that came out of their mouths.

If we even began to unwrap this I would say I was angrier at Gibsie. Years ago when Haven left behind her little girl appearance and she started to shape herself into who she is nowadays, she obviously got attention from boys. I didn't want her getting that attention so I kept everyone at arm's length from her. I laid down ground rules for the rugby team because I know how they think, I'm one of them for Christ's sake. They could go do whatever they wanted with whatever poor girl they pleased but hands off Haven. She was not to be touched and I stressed that rule like a fucking I don't know, whatever stresses rules.

And he went and got with her anyway. She's a baby for crying out loud, and she has no business being with him.

With Haven I'm not even angry, I just feel betrayed. Disappointed. Stabbed in the back.

Looking back everything fell into place - how he would stare for a bit too long, walk her to class, always smile when she was in the room, offer to drive her home, just be in my house before I got there, how she would giggle to every stupid thing that came out of his mouth.

I could still see her lips on his, so desperate to search something in them. The thing that stung the most though was how familiar and comfortable they looked, the intimacy that covered them made me physically sick. Even if they were "together" for a little time, whatever they felt went back years.

Shannon sat with her hands folded in her lap, the only noise in the car was the humming engine. Her father had one of his drunk escapades and they didn't know when he was coming back, but they did know it wasn't tomorrow. So instead of dropping my girlfriend at Claire's like I'd discussed with Joey I was taking her straight to my house so she'd spend the night with me.

The steering wheel nearly broke with how hard I gripped it, knuckles turning white as chalk from the hold, and from one glance I could tell Shan was scared. Her cowering form and skittish eyes said what her words wouldn't say. I'd like to think she wasn't scared of me, she knew I would never lay a finger on her, but rather on how enraged I looked.

"Johnny?" Shannon's gentle voice rang through the air, only barely echoing through my ears "Are you okay?"
"They fuckin' lied to me Shan" I grumbled, my voice coated with a thick layer of disconnection

I prided myself on loyalty. Every single relationship I had was built with a thick foundation of loyalty, and now two of the people I loved the most in the world tore that foundation down.

For a second I wondered if I had overreacted but those thoughts were overpowered by anger that boiled inside me. This wasn't just about the relationship thing they attempted - it went further from there. It was about the deceit. Gibsie knew how protective I was of Haven and Haven knew how much Gerard meant to me.

"Why couldn't they just admit they were fucking behind my back" I complained, seething and not measuring my thoughts as I leaned my head against the steering wheel once we'd arrived to my house.

My car sat idle, engine shut off and us still inside. "Why would they do this to me?" i said, looking at my girlfriend who sat still like a mouse "Haven's my sister Shan, she's not supposed to be with him. And he knew the rules, no one gets with her. I thought I-" i cut myself off, letting out a deep exhale

"You thought what?" Shannon followed up

"I thought I could trust him. He's like a brother to me and now I don't know if I should've ever placed so much trust in him"

We were quiet for a second until Shannon's hand went to my knee, its weight barely registering on my skin. "Johnny I get why you're hurt and feel this way" She cooed "But maybe... maybe they didn't do this with ill intent, I doubt they meant to hurt you. Perhaps they were just scared"

I let out a scoff "Of what? Me? I'm not a bleeding monster Shannon, why would they be scared of me"

"That's not what I meant. I know you're not monster, they know you're not a monster" She quickly corrected herself "But you can sometimes be a little bit overprotective and strong willed, they thought you wouldn't understand or allow it"

"But I don't understand" i responded "why out of all people him"
"Have you considered the fact that they could be in love?" She murmured, her big blue eyes that drive me crazy staring straight to my soul

I hadn't even considered that and the fact that I should've made me feel odd inside.

"Love doesn't excuse the lying" I said after a beat

"No it doesn't, but it shows that they care. Not to hurt you or make you feel bad, but because they love each other and desire to spend a piece of themselves together" Her words echoed through my brain but I was still too angry to see the light

"I know you can move past this because deep down you still love them both and I know for a fact that they love you too" She finished off

I didn't respond and thankfully she dropped the topic. We got out of the car and made a beeline for my bed.

The night was a different kind of dark. It was one that came with heavy atmospheres and heavy thoughts that otherwise wouldn't even burden me while I'm conscious. The moon's silvery glow creaked through a slit on my curtains, lighting up a piece of Shannon's face as she curled up in my chest.

I wasn't sure how I got to the point where I didn't feel like I knew my sister and my best friend. But in the still night while I reminisced how I'd acted once Shan walked into my life, the once impossible possibility that what I felt for her Gibs might feel for my sister gave itself the pleasure to start burning away my brain.

✹✹✹

author's note;

hi loves! this is the first and probably last johnny pov we'll ever get but i woke up a couple of days ago with the urge to expand everything from his point of view so you'd get a reason as about why he reacted the way he did with everything
i don't know if it has happened with my fellow readers who also write but I'd been having SUCH a hard time with writing anything that feels remotely good. everything i wrote before this (for this and my other novels) felt so boring and just meh. writer's block is literally the worst.
OH ALSO ON ANOTHER BETTER NOTE i may or may not have another fic cooking and a little hint about who it is about: he's literally my celeb husband so it was about time I wrote something for him. he plays a sport and was out of season on 2023 for injury. if you guess who it is I'll give you an imaginary cookie or something

anyways I'll leave now, love you all, thanks so much for reading and don't forget to vote and comment!

word count; 1111