Finding 4

Chapter 35

Callum

I haven't heard from Marley in two days. At first I thought maybe she just needed some space, so I gave it to her. But then, Brody called me. And he sounded scared for her.

So now, I'm in my car, and on the way to my girlfriend's house. I have no idea what happened, or whether or not I did something.

All I know is that I have a bad feeling about this.

When I reach her house, I put my car in park, and get out. I shuffle up to her front door and lift my hand to knock, but before my knuckles even make contact with the wood, it swings open.

Brody stands on the other side, and he looks worried. There's a mix of guilt and pain in his eyes, and even though he tries to mask it with his usual humorous personality, it's obvious.

"Where is she?" I ask when I walk inside and he closes the door behind me.

"She's out back." He sighs.

I walk into the living room, where Elijah is on the couch. He sees me and smiles, so even though Marley is the first thing on my mind right now, I take a minute to talk to him.

"Hey lad." I put on a smile towards him.

"I'm watching rugby." He says.

I look over at the tv, seeing the camera following my uncle as he walks across the pitch. "Yeah?"

"Are you here for Marley?" He asks. "She's sad."

I can feel his words in my chest. "Yeah. I'm gonna go see her."

"Okay." He turns his attention back to the tv and I swallow harshly.

I walk out to the back porch, and immediately I see the blonde headed girl on the swing. Her hair is a wavy mess down her back, and her eyes have dark circles under them. She's not doing anything, just staring.

My heart stops in my chest because I know whatever happened was bad. Terrible even.

I move to sit next to her, and when I do she doesn't even spare me a glance. Not even when the swing shakes from me sitting down.

"Marley," I say softly, placing my hand on her knee.

Nothing.

"Are you okay?"

She still says silent, staring straight ahead.

"Come on baby," I squeeze her knee lightly. "What's going on?"

The space around us is completely silent as I wait for her to speak. "He killed himself." She whispers.

My brow immediately burrow together. "What? Who did?"

Marley finally looks over at me, and her tired eyes bore into mine. "Mason."

"Oh." I say quietly, my eyes widening slightly.

I'm not sure how to feel about that. I didn't know the guy, and from what I hear, he was a complete asshat. Still, it's never good to hear someone died. Especially in that way. And at one point, Marley cared about him. She still does, I can tell, but not in the way that she used to.

She swallows harshly and looks back straight ahead. I can feel the guilt radiating off of her, except I'm not sure why.

I don't know what else to say, so I remove my hand from her knee and fidget with my fingers in my lap.

"Why am I so sad?" She asks, her voice quiet.

I look over at her and think for a moment before speaking up. "Because you care about him. That's normal. It's okay to be sad."

"But..." I see her swallow again. "He...he never cared about me."

"Well sure he did." I rub my hand up her back, and her blonde hair scrunches at my fingertips.

"No." She shakes her head. "Because if he cared for me he never would've done what he did."

Theres that thing again. The terrible thing that Mason did, and I have no idea what it is. It's driving me insane knowing that everyone else knows, and not me.

"What did he do?" I keep rubbing her back, over her teal colored t-shirt, with faded words on the back. It's from one of her track meets back in America.

She's quiet for another moment, but this time I can tell she's going to say something. "He was great when we first started dating." She starts. "He was nice, and loving, and funny. But then...I don't know it was just like something changed. He didn't care about me, or how I felt. He only ever cared about my body...and about what I did with my body." Theres another pause, but then she speaks up. "I didn't want to sleep with him." She whispers, and my hand stops moving, along with the blood in my veins, and the pump of my heart.

"What?" I question quietly.

Did she just say that?

I pull my hand away from her back, and my entire body is sagging. "Marley."

"Don't make me say it." She shakes her head. "Because I can't."

I let out a shaky breath and stand up, running my hands over my face and through my hair. I slowly walk over to the railing on the porch and lean my back against it, finally facing her again.

She finally looks at me, and this time my heart absolutely shatters in my chest and the broken pieces fall throughout my body. The look in her eyes tells me everything I need to know.

"Shit." I whisper, my fingers still over my mouth.

"It wasn't completely his fault." She says with a shaky voice.

It wasn't his fault? You've got to be fucking with me. Everything about this is his fault. If she says no, she means no.

"Marley." I say exasperated, walking over and kneeling down in front of her, once again placing my hands on her knees. "This isn't your fault."

"But I didn't necessarily say no." She replies.

"Did you say yes?" I ask more stern. "Were you feeding into it?"

She swallows harshly and looks down at my hands on her knees. After what feels like forever she finally does something.

She shakes her head no.