Finding 4

Chapter 5

Marley

The first day is finally over. After what felt like hours, and hours of pure misery, it's finally over. I'm walking through the parking lot, back to Brody's car, my face buried in my phone as I text Mason.

This conversation isn't as cheerful as the other ones, and I find myself more pissed off than usual.

Mason
Why are you like this?
Emily and I are just going to grab something to eat before the game it's not a big deal

Marley
Because Mason, that's weird.

Mason
How the fuck is it weird?
God you can be so annoying sometimes

My heart clenches in my chest.

You can be so annoying sometimes.

The worst part is, he's right.

I'm insufferable to be around. I'm mean, and I'm angry, and I'm annoying. I over think, and I worry too much, and I'm way too clingy.

That's why I don't think anyone would be upset if something happened to me. Nobody would be hurt. Not like they were hurt when mom died.

Mom was a lovely person to be around. She was kind, and caring, and funny. She was gentle, and she loved everyone, even if they weren't an easy person to love.

Thats why she loved me. Part of it was because she had to, and the other part was because that's just how she was.

Why couldn't it have been me?

I'm not as important as she was.

I'm not needed.

I'm not even wanted.

My thoughts get cut short when I slam into something. Or someone. My phone clatters to the floor, and I stumble back.

"Oh shit," a deep Irish accent fills my ears as their hands grab onto me. Whoever is holding me is the only thing keeping me on my feet. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I mutter, feeling too pissed off to find any remorse or compassion.

I bend down to pick up my phone, not even looking up at the person who saved me from falling on my ass in the middle of the parking lot.

"Fuck." I whisper as I stare down at my shattered phone screen. It won't even turn on. I finally look up and my heart jackknifes in my chest.

Holy wow.

Wait what? I can't say that. I have a boyfriend.

God you're a terrible person.

"You broke my phone," I sneer. I'm not even angry at the boy standing in front of me. In fact, I don't even care that we ran into each other. However, I'm still angry. At myself, at the government for making my dad go to Ireland, at the doctors for not being able to save mom, at the world.

The tall, athletically built blonde glares at me, his head jolting back as he scoffs. "You were the one with your face buried in it while you walk. Maybe you should pay more attention."

Rolling my eyes, I snap back at him. "Yeah well you obviously weren't paying any attention either. You could've moved out of the way."

"Seriously?" He narrows his eyes at me. "They were right when they said Americans are insufferable."

Ouch.

I was right. I am insufferable. Even strangers can't stand being around me.

Feeling a lump in my throat claw its way up, and tears forming in my eyes, I just walk away. I can feel the boys eyes on me as I practically bolt for Brody's car.