Finding 4

Chapter 13

Marley

"Mason?" I question, placing the phone to my ear. It's like one in the morning back at home, why is he calling now?

"I'm sorry," he slurs, and I can hear voices in the background. "I know you're mad at me, but please don't be."

"How am I supposed to just not be mad at you?" I sigh, shoving my free hand into the pocket of my jeans and leaning my back against the brick wall. "You've been kind of...awful, Mason."

"I know, I know," he says, his tone pleading. "Just please...I fucked up baby."

I sigh, knowing that his words have a different meaning than what's actually going on. A meaning that I'm too scared to dig and find out about.

"Please forgive me. I need you."

"Mason," I take my hand out of my pocket and rub my face. "Look, I love you, okay? I love you a lot...but some things need to change."

"I'll change baby, I will."

"You have to stop with this Emily bullshit," I tell him. "Shes my best friend, and I know it makes me sound insane and insecure, but the way you stick up more for her rather than me...it hurts."

"I know, and I'm gonna stop." The voices in the background fade away. "I'm gonna change for you."

No he's not.

"Okay."

"Hey I have to go but...I love you." He continues to slur, and even though I know he's drunk and these aren't his sober thoughts, I accept it anyway.

What a fucking loser I am.

"I love you too," I say back.

For some reason, the words feel different coming out of my mouth. They don't feel natural like they used to. It no longer is a saying that I just have. It feels like I have to force them out.

Pulling the phone away from my ear, I click the hang up button and shut my phone off. I let out a deep sigh, leaning my head against the wall.

"Everything okay?" Tierny's voice fills my ears and I look over at her.

"Yeah," I nod. "Just...Mason."

"Ah," she nods, filling the space next to me. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah sure," I slide my phone into my back pocket and cross my arms.

"Now don't think I'm saying this to be an asshole, or overstep my boundaries...but why do you stay with him?" Her words send a sucker punch straight to my heart. "He hurts you."

I swallow harshly and let out a deep sigh. "Uh...I guess...it's comfortable. I've been with him since freshman year, you know? It's what I'm used to." I shrug and then add, "and...a part of me is still holding onto how we used to be. He wasn't always an asshole. Mason used to be funny, and kind, and caring." I smile slightly at the memories. "We used to have so much fun together. And then he just...changed."

"Well maybe he didn't change," she shrugs "maybe his true colors started showing."

A part of me—no, everything in me knows she's right. Yet, there's still a smart piece of my heart that hopes and wishes she isn't. A part of me that hopes the Mason I used to know will come back.

But that's not going to happen.

And we both know it.

"Let's go inside and get drunk, yeah?" She wraps her arm around my shoulders and gives my arm a light squeeze.

I huff out a smile "Yeah."

<>

This alcohol is really getting to me. And I mean really getting to me.