The Unthought Fate [MxM]

Chapter 42

Vlad

  I felt my eyes moving behind my eyelids and I carefully peeled them open. Groaning in displeasure was the only other thing I wanted to do.

It

Was

Ridiculous

Again... I fainted.

  I took a look around and I was alone in the room, thankfully. I tried to concentrate and figure if Eric and Maria were close, but I heard nothing. I was feeling so ashamed this happened in front of them, but I was too weak, my mind not strong enough to take the devastating news without blacking out.

  I knew it would have been understandable for many, I for sure would have been understanding if someone fainted before me after receiving such words....but I was fainting on a regular basis by now... does this mean something is wrong with me?

  Well, something it is wrong with me, actually! How dare I feel embarrassed of how I reacted instead of grieving the loss of my soulmate? I was always worthless, never deserved him and now I am showing why... the self pity overshadowed the fact that I had found out that my perfect partner was no more.

  An excruciating stab struck my chest, as if it was eating my heart and bones, as if it was consuming me inside out. It spread until my whole body was feeling it in every cell and nerve.

  Oh my soul... Calum, my Calum! My soul was screaming in pain, while my body was scrunching the covers between my legs and arms, hiding my face to muffle the sobs of hurt, ignoring the discomfort, because I deserved it. I always deserved all the bad things that happened to me.

  He would have been just fine if I wouldn't have been his fated or never had met me. He would have been alive and well, but he wanted to get away from the mercenaries because of me, so he was caught and killed because of me.

  Remembering the scene of my wonderful Calum withering right in front of me was crushing....I don't know how I withstood the sight. To see his beautiful hair becoming white as snow, his skin wrinkling until it became like a tree bark, his body had becoming so skinny and frail.... Oh my soul... he did not deserve that.

  I knew he was no saint, but he never would have harmed a fly if he had the choice... so why? why was he punished like this? He was so gentle, caring and attentive.

  Duuuhhhh....because of me, obviously. I killed my mother at birth, my father died protecting me and my lover killed for loving me. These deaths were all my fault, this useless piece of whatever waste of space I had always been.

  Because of me, my perfect Calum had suffered greatly and for what? He was innocent, just as many other people who had the misfortune of encountering the mercenaries or possessed some special skill that those greedy rulers wanted.

  Oh my soul... I wanted Calum back, I wanted his cheeky smile, delicious food, his strong arms and calm demeanor. He was my rock, he was my everything...how would I ever be able to go a day without him? How will I go through another minute knowing I killed him.

  Lost in my thought, I hadn't heard when my parents came into the room.

  "Vlad..." I heard Maria's voice gently calling me and I felt her hand on my shoulder.

  I wanted to hide some more, so I dug deeper in the cover, so they won't see me, the monster responsible for so many deaths, including theirs.

  Her hand was firm on my shoulder, going down my arm and back up again.

  I heard the stool scraping the floor and I supposed she got it closer to the bed.

  "Vlad, sweet boy...." She said, gently nudging my arm, "please... try to calm down and let us explain what is happening" she added pleading.