Broken Me

Do You Want Me?

                                                                              "Do you want me, or do you want me dead?"

 ~ Do You Want Me (dead) by All Time Low

     I was waiting for my alarm clock to go off, that I'd find myself snuggled in my sheets. That "That Girl" would begin to blare through my room, and I would get up and laugh. There'd be no Alex, Kylie would still be my best friend, and Oliver would realize we were meant for each other. I'd be a famous pianist, putting my own spin on modern music today. I would get up and go to Julliard, I'd be in New York, far away from the West coast. But that wouldn't happen. Oliver was close enough to touch and his daughter was screaming for me from the car.

     It was the realization that my life sucked that started the tears, it was the realization that it'd never be normal that was the reason they wouldn't stop. I felt warm tears pour down my face, and I was glad I never wore make up. I was one of the few people that didn't look "cute" or "adorable" when crying. I looked like the sobbing mess I was. My face would scrunch up and I'd hiccup and sob out of control. I'd throw a tantrum, like a small child. That's probably why I didn't cry so often.

     Oliver had frozen where he was, scratching his head in a meek manner. "Females crying actually causes a hormonal reaction in all males" that random fact popped into my head as I tried to piece myself together. Calm yourself, calm-Oh to hell with calm. I was sick of being calm, I thought that's what he liked. That's the only reason I didn't act like myself around him, I tried too hard to be perfect. Too much of anything is too much!

     "Well, what do you have to say?" I tried so desperately not to sob or hiccup in that question I succeeded in both. I wiped away my tears, would they ever stop?

     "Rose, we never meant to hurt you. But we just want to see our daughter," he pleaded, his voice sounding somewhat saddened. But I couldn't hope that the sadness was for me. I was still trying to wipe away the tears when I replied.

     "If she gets out of the car you'll never see her." I came to my conclusion. I could bear to see Oliver, but not Kylie. It was too soon for that bandage to be ripped off. After all, I had known Kylie my whole life. We were next door neighbors and best friends. Or, were. Oliver blinked a nodded slowly, glancing back at the car. Kylie had climbed into the front seat and was currently in the process of leaving. I relaxed knowing she'd be gone.

     "Rawr Rawr!!! RAWR! RAWR!" Alex had been screaming this whole time, throwing a fit in the back seat. Apparently she didn't like what had just transpired. I got her unbuckled and the second I had her, she calmed down from her own crying.

     "Shh, I want you to meet someone, okay?" I asked, bouncing her as she gripped her beach towel. She nodded slightly, her baby blues staring into my eyes unblinking. I set my jaw before looking at Oliver.

     "Do anything to hurt her, and I'll cut your balls off and feed them to the dog." Sam had heard the noise outside and had decided to join the fray. I looked up at him from the fire escape he was sitting on, looking scary as hell. Or, maybe he was there the whole time. He had a bad habit of smoking out there. The second option seemed more likely as he stomped out his cigarette, the flicker of light in it died with it. "Feed his balls to the dog? We don't have fish, much less a dog!" I smiled at the thought.

     "Who's he?" Oliver asked, looking back from Sam to me, giving me a stern look. I narrowed my eyes, he had no right to treat me like he deserved the right to know who I lived with!

     "My gay roommate, need any other questions answered or do you want to meet your daughter?" I snapped, clutching Alex closer.

     "No, I mean, I just want to see her!" Oliver snapped out of it real quick, closing the space between us. I gave Alex a quick kiss on her rosy cheeks.

     "You can see her inside." I pivoted on my heel, heading inside the building. A blast of cool air hit my in the face as the automatic doors opened. The walls were a dull brown, giving the room a warm yet old feel to it. There were old worn couches set out and paintings of fruit and flowers, none of people. On the wall next to the manager's desk was a silver plaque, proclaiming that hundreds of celebrities had stayed in this wonder "establishment". I gave a quick wave to the people mulling about, most of them I knew.

     I stepped into the elevator as Oliver followed me with a dazed expression. He obviously didn't expect me to pull myself together so quickly, but you had to master it with an impressionable child in your constant presence. I pressed the number 3, as Alex watched in fascination at how the number lit up. I smiled, ruffing her curls. She then noticed Oliver's pressing stare and glanced at him.

     "Who?" she asked, pointing a chubby finger in his direction. He was obviously startled and his pupils dilated. I grinned wider.

     "That's Daddy." I announced, shifting her in my arms. Alex then began to examine him more closely, staring hard at him.

     "Hi Daddy." she exclaimed in her high pitch voice, just in time with the elevators "ding".

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AN: I hate how I keep forgetting author's notes. I always realize I didn't put one in seconds after I hit "publish". Anyways, any suggestions for what you want to happen? Or who you hate in this story? (I can name a few) So comment! Sorry for most of the songs in the story being All Time Low's, but they're my favorite band and their whole album was just leaked ;D Until next time