wrong direction

chapter 16

ZAYNS POV

i got up out of my bed and wandered towards the front door and made my way to nialls room. i got to his room and knocked 3 times. no answer, i knocked again but more loudly

z ~ "it's me zayn, open the door"

h ~ "coming"

harry opened the door, but not fully. he creeked it open so i could just see his face

z ~ "can i come in, i need to speak to the both of you"

h ~ "yeah but one second"

harry said and closed the door, huh weird i thought to myself

NIALLS POV

harry walked over to me and quietly said

h ~ "put your clothes back on, zayn wants to come in and speak to us"

n ~ "okay"

i swiftly put my clothes back on with harry looking at me, it was hella awkward but oh well

z ~ "hurry uppp"

h ~ "i'm coming one second"

harry went over to the door and let zayn in, he walked over to me and sat next to me on the bed.

h ~ "what's up, why did you want to speak to us"

z ~ "boys, just please tell me what's going on, i heard niall say 'you didn't tell them did you' just tell me, i wont tell anyone"

h ~ "i mean niall it is up to you if you want to tell him"

i nodded my head, i couldn't afford another one of my band mates knowing.

HARRYS POV

h ~ "niall it would be better if zayn knew, cause if something happens to you it would be my fault cause i would of been the only one that knew"

n ~ "i'm not telling him harry, it's good enough that you know"

h ~ "niall if you don't tell him i will"

n ~ "yeah and what the fuck are you supposed to tell him, that i slice my legs, stomach and wrists and starve myself cause i'm a depressed cunt!?"

i quickly covered my mouth with my hands, fuck i wasn't supposed to say that.

z ~ "niall mate, what the fuck, i thought it wasn't going to get this bad"

n ~ "well it did"

niall got up and walked fast to the bathroom. i wasn't about to let niall relapse so i ran over to the closed bathroom door and attempted to open it but unfortunately it was locked

h ~ "niall please open the door, i swear if you relapse i'm going to tell the rest of the boys"

n ~ "leave me alone"

NIALLS POV

i didn't even give myself time to think i dug through the cupboard bellow the sink till i found something every hotel gives you, a sanitary kit. i looked through the little bag till i found the thing i was looking for, a razor. i snapped the little sharp blade out of the razor and pulled my sleeve up and dragged it across my wrist, fuck it felt good i repeated this step around 9 times before i realised that harry and zayn would find out i relapsed and they would tell the boys.

h ~ "niall i'm not going to fucking leave you alone, just please think about what your about to do, don't do it please just unlock the door i can help you"

n ~ "im not going to fucking do anything harry, just leave me alone"

h ~ "make me believe you then, unlock the door"

n ~ "for fucks sake fine wait"

i quickly cleaned up any evidence, i put the broken razor in the bin and put the blade in my pocket knowing i would need it sooner or later. once u double checked there was no evidence left anywhere i pulled my sleeve down not bothering to wipe the cuts and unlocked the door and walked out.

h ~ "what the fuck was that?"

n ~ "what?"

h ~ "you just running off and into the bathroom probably fucking cutting"

n ~ "shush your being really loud, and no i didn't thank you very much"

h ~ "it's not like the other boys aren't gonna find out because i know you fucking did"

n ~ "i didn't"

h ~ "proof?"

n ~ "and how am i supposed to do that?"

h ~ "strip down to your boxers"

n ~ "no"

my face went red

h ~ "why?"

n ~ "because i don't want to just fuck off"

i said whilst going to the sofa in my hotel room which zayn was sitting on flabbergasted hearing what me and harry were saying

h ~ "niall look i just want to help, it could end up really bad mate"

harry said following me to the sofa

n ~ "isn't that what i'm trying to achieve"

i said softly

h ~ "oh niall"

harry hugged me tight

h ~ "just please show me niall, it's either that or my and zayn will do it ourselves"

n ~ "i'm not showing you"

HARRYS POV

i looked at zayn with a let's do this look and he gave a are we really doing this look back to me i nodded. i grabbed niall and started by taking his jeans off not saying anything.

h ~ "niall if you say where you did it then we won't have to strip you"

niall didn't say anything

h ~ "suit yourself"

me and zayn carried on taking the clothes of the boy, this was weird as hell but it had to be done. we carried on taking his clothes off until his was there in his boxers. well where did he cut, there's no new cuts on him?

NIALLS POV  

and here i was standing here in my boxers infront of two of my band mates. i flipped my arm over the the back of my wrist was facing the wall so they couldn't see my cuts, harry looked confused

h ~ "what? i'm really sorry niall i thought you rela-"

harry paused in the middle of his sentence

h ~ "niall, flip your arm over"

i shook my head. harry flipped my arm over himself and revealed 9 new cuts on my arm

z ~ "niall...."

zayn pulled me in a warm hug, then i felt another 2 arms wrap around me. it was harry

h ~ "i'm so sorry, but why?"

n ~ "i don't even know, sometime i just get this overwhelming feeling and i just get the feeling that i  need to cut, i don't even know"

z ~ "and niall you are skinny as fuck, please stop doing all this to yourself, it's so hard to watch you slowly killing yourself "

n ~ "i know i'm sorry, i really am, i will try to stop"

h ~ "we don't need to to try, we need you to"

i nodded