The White Rabbit

14.) Messy with a Side of Wings

Somehow after that kiss in the car, we made it home where the second we were out of sight from the public, we found ourselves locking lips again on the couch. It was all a blur from then until here. Not much words were said or discussed just lots of smiles and giggling. In our defense, he doesn't live far from the doctor's office. It was like a mad dash for closed quarters.

We made it to the couch before succumbing to our desires. His lips are soft and warm as they connect with mine. I find myself pressing my lips harder into his as he presses into mine. His fingers intertwined into my hair in the back of my neck pulling my closer to him. He smells amazing but that's not new news. He always smells great. I can't get myself to pull away even though I feel us slipping into the cracks of becoming completely irretrievably messy.

I can feel his warm breath tickling my neck as our lips connect further and further. His lips beg for entry and I quickly allow. He tastes like peppermint gum and Burt's Bees lip balm. Both create a warm yet cooling sensation on my lips that oddly enough makes me want his lips on mine more. I fall back onto the couch laying down as he towers over me connecting his lips with mine while softly tugging my hair.

This truly feels like we're finally letting out some steam from a pressure cooker. We have had all this sexual tension building and building within us since we reconnected because of this pregnancy. But we promised we would just be friends because starting a relationship with a baby on the way could get messy. But is this a friends with benefits moment or something more? I know friends with benefits will get messy. It'll get so messy. I can't do that. I want to be with HIM. Not just be WITH him. Does that make sense? I finally push my lips off of his after suppressing all of this tension beneath me.

"Wait...wait...what is this? What are we doing?" I say catching my breath with his hands still intertwined in my hair.

"I have to be honest...I don't know." He sighs pulling away slowly and leaving me room to sit up.

"Dean...this will get messy. If we open this door. I don't know if we can just close it again." I exhale adjusting my hair after he was messing with it then sitting up to talk.

"What door is it that we're even opening exactly?" Dean say inquisitively.

I sit and stewed for only a moment trying to figure that out myself.

"I don't know. I don't want to be friends with benefits. I don't." I start but he cuts me off.

"Oh thank god...I regretted even offering that the second it came out of my mouth. I just felt so bad in the moment that you were struggling so much with the intense hormones that I offered what I could but honestly I'm not that kinda guy..." he says completely relieved rubbing his chin and scruff.

"So are we opening the door for...us?" I stumble on the words while twiddling with the leather in the couch.

"I mean...I think so... Audrey, you're all I ever think about. You're all I want. I know we don't want things to get messy but let me tell you...this is already a shit storm of a story to tell our kid so why not try to make 'us' work?" He shrugs rubbing my shoulder with his thumb.

"You're all I ever think about too...I mean clearly...you heard me this morning..." I say blushing hard as his fingers intertwine into my hair once more.

"I did...didn't I?" He smirks and then follows it with a chuckle.

"I think it's time we at least try this. Us. Because if we don't we'll never know if we could work long term. I can't get you out of my head, Dean." I say confidently while placing a hand endearingly on his knee.

"So then we try and if for whatever reason things start to get messy..." he starts apprehensively.

"We stop. We prioritize the baby. Our relationship in the sense of parenting comes first." I finish gazing into his eyes.