"Too late, I win." -Sheldon Cooper
"What the hell was that?" -Leonard Hofstader
"I don't know, but if cats could sing... they'd hate it too." -Sheldon Cooper
"No you don't." -Leonard Hofstader
"No, if you were going to kill me, I would presume you would've done it a long time ago." -Sheldon Cooper
"That's very true." -Leonard Hofstader
"3 ×=(Knock on the door)/Penny." -Sheldon Cooper
"You told her I lied? Why would you tell her I lied?" -Leonard Hofstader
"To help you." -Sheldon Cooper
"I'm sorry, I'm not seeing your help." -Leonard Hofstader (confused/sarcastically).
"She was going to see through your lie eventually so I told her that you were lying to protect me." -Sheldon Cooper
"Ok, why do I have to go to a drug intervention for your cousin?" -Leonard Hofstader
"Ah, because it's in Long Beach and I don't drive." -Sheldon Cooper
"We're going to Long Beach?" -Leonard Hofstader
"No, of course not. There's no cousin Leo, there's no intervention, focus Leonard." -Sheldon Cooper
"Awe, come on." -Leonard Hofstader
"We just leave the house on Friday night and return in the wee hours emotionally wrung out from the work of convincing Leo to go back into rehab." -Sheldon Cooper
"He goes back into rehab?" -Leonard Hofstader
"Yes, but he can relapse if Penny ever invites us to hear her sing again." -Sheldon Cooper
"You still told her I lied." -Leonard Hofstader
"How am I supposed to remember all of this?" -Leonard Hofstader
"Oh, that's the best part, you don't have to. See, I told Penny that you would be embarrassed if you knew that she found out that you had lied so she's agreed to operate as if the original lie is still in force." -Sheldon Cooper
"So, she's expecting me to lie about going to a symposium in Pasadena when in actuality we're pretending to go to a drug intervention in Long Beach." -Leonard Hofstader
"Un-unravelable." -Sheldon Cooper
"I don't know what to say?" -Leonard Hofstader
"Wait, are we really going to Long Beach?" -Leonard Hofstader
"Excuse me, we just went over this! As the quintessential middle child, your addiction is rooted in your unmet need for attention." -Sheldon Cooper (looks at the guy he hired for his pretend cousin Leo).
"Sheldon, are we really gonna go with pop psychology?" -Pretend Cousin Leo AKA Toby Loobenfeld
"For your information, this is all based on solid research, just stick with the character I wrote for you." -Sheldon Cooper
"Sheldon?" -Leonard Hofstader
"I'm sorry Leonard, this is Toby Loobenfeld. He's a research assistant in the particle physics lab, but he also minored in theater at MIT." -Sheldon Cooper
"It was more of a major actually, theater and physics. You can guess which one of my bourgeois parents pushed me to..." -Pretend Cousin Leo AKA Toby Loobenfeld
"Yeah, I got it. Sheldon... Why?" -Leonard Hofstader
"Well you see while Leo wouldn't have gone into rehab it is completely plausible that we would have talked to him into leaving the motel and coming home with us." -Sheldon Cooper
(Leonard sighs frustratedly).
"Just have fun with it." -Sheldon Cooper
"How long is he going to stay here?" -Leonard Hofstader
"He's a drug addict, Leonard where else is he going to go? Boy you have a lot to learn about lying." -Sheldon Cooper
