After

Finally Yours

Millie leaves. I don't know how to feel now. I walk back inside my house. Shut the door. And stop a moment to take a breath.
Is that even possible? To like your best friend? I don't think it is. From that moment i just always had the urge to message, and make plans. We met up the second time 3 days after that. on the 31st of July so the last day before August.
Another dog walk. I guess i was just the dog walking friend from the day we met. But i wouldn't have it any other way. It was a colder night tonight. And she clearly had no brain cells left if she came in just a t shirt. So strange.

It got to the end of the dog walk, she was freezing. And had bumped her arm on a nettle. She just would not stop winging about it. I found it extremely funny. Karma hit me though and i almost fell over cause i rolled my ankle. She was in stitches. Totally not funny like but anyway.
We left the trail and got to where my house was. I shouldn't leave her to walk home in the cold like that. I told her to wait there and i'd be out in a second. I went upstairs to look for a jumper. I got my gray Ellesse one, i guess i didn't want it anyway as it has bad memories. I went back outside, and she put it on.

God. Suited her well. More than it suited me. Looked nice on her. Wait. No i can't like my best friend.

Getting back inside. I finally came to the conclusion that i actually might like my best friend. Well i knew that because, my exes name didn't hurt, i didn't miss her, i didn't feel anything towards her. It was so sudden because i swear the other day i missed her more than anything. Everything was changing. However, it was good change. I think i needed to tell Neo i've been seeing this girl. Not like that. No wait.
Maybe i do like my best friend.

Was the next day. And Millie was hanging out with her friend Taneesha. They was going to come down to my area to see me today. Which i didn't mind it. My electric meter was playing up so i told her to phone my number when she was here.
She arrived. We were all broke as per usual and in my area there wasn't a lot to do so we just went to chill at the local cafe. As i do all the time anyway. Probably the most productive you'll get in Lodge Moore at my age. As park and stuff wasn't for me.

We got there and it was basically just how it always is. Talking. That's all it really is nowadays. If it's not drinking, it's smoking, and if it's not any or them it's just chatting away. I really didn't mind it though. Because it was her. I think her friend kind of gathered i liked her. Maybe i made it to obvious by the way i'd look at her. But a moment came where she looked at me the same. I didn't know how to feel in a situation like this. So i kind of just ignored the fact.

The next morning came. Was the 2nd of August 2023. I saw her on her own today. We went to the cafe again. Just us. Something was different about it this time.
She was closer. More talkative. And she looked at me a little too different to call me her friend. I think she clicked on that i felt that way about her. I think everyone did at this point. She's all i ever talked about. Her mum dropped her off in the car and she was nice. I knew i'd get along with her mum. The day was nice. We chatted a lot, laughed a lot. I think from that day we just clicked. She went home earlier this day though but i didn't mind it. I knew today was the day i actually had to stop convincing myself otherwise and just ask.

I went back home that evening. I went straight to my room. Luckily the electric meter sorted itself out so i could message her. I think my mind thought ahead of me and i just straight away could not hold back the thoughts, and the what ifs any longer. I asked her if she was ready for any sort of commitment. She tells me yeah. But i don't believe it. I don't know why i don't believe it, possibly because she's the best thing that's happened in a while and not a lot of good things come my way if i'm being honest. I ask again just to make sure, and the time after that. She was sure she wanted that relationship with me.