After

Are We Okay?

The next 5 days were terrible. Me and Mill argued so much. I think i was just scared and insecure that she was being distant. I was petrified actually. We had a really rough 5 days then. It was almost our 2 months. Got towards the end of September. Something was wrong with us, this isn't us. I think i should make plans to see her to see if the spark is still there somehow. I went to her house the next day. Lucy was there. Out of all Mills friends. I think she was most definitely my favourite. There was always a good laugh when she was around. Which was a great thing. Me and Mill were fine that day. It was the last day of September. 2 more days till it would be 2 months of us being official. It doesn't feel like that though. Feels like it's been longer. 

We all just kind of hung out for a little bit. Her and lucy was talking about their own thing. I didn't want her to think i was being anti social and that something was wrong. I reached my hand out to hold hers.
And gently squeezed it 3 times. She didn't say anything. Neither did i. She just looked at me. The same look she gave me when we first met. I think we were definitely okay. Nothing is wrong. I'm overthinking. I can't let any of my thoughts get in the way. I don't want her to think i'm crazy.

I went home that night. As i got home. I think something just snapped. I was just so overwhelmed and i crashed out. I felt Millie becoming distant. I can't let anything ruin us. I think i should get some rest. I'll talk to Neo about it in the morning maybe he will know what to do. Because i genuinely had no fucking idea. I wasn't good with this whole thing. 2 months is the rocky stage. Goes up all the way until 4 months. What if she can't handle it. What if i break. No. Don't be stupid. You saw her today. Everything is fine. I think away my thoughts until i fall asleep.

The next day was a bland day. Another black out blur, probably because i was so stressy. I needed to take a moment to chill out. To relax. To breathe. To keep in my mind that maybe this all just is a thought. I messaged her.
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                                 Mill
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                        "Hey do you want to see me             tomorrow for our 2 months, if i don't come to you, you can come to me."

"Sure, i'll see you tomorrow."
Seen.
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Plan was made. I can stop stressing out. I just need to get today over with. Hopefully all of this stress will fade. I just need to see her and have that conversation. Talk about how i feel. Tell her i don't want to loose her. Loose us. She's going to understand me. I'll get the answers.