After

Instability

That didn't stop me from trying to get him to come around. The next day i know that i did wrong. I understood it. So i tried my best to make things right. Otherwise i'll feel like it's the end of the world and i don't have control over anything. All the effort worked, he came around. We started being friends again. That's always how it's been with me and him. On and Off. But we never gave up on each other. Not once.

Millie got ungrounded a few days after that. So i had made plans to see her that day. I almost fucked everything up so i was so stern on making sure everything was okay, which it was. I had to meet another one of her friends today. She was called Faith. She sounded nice over text, but hopefully she was nice in person. Faith got here and we all hung out for a bit. Me and Millie had our second argument that day. I got a no caller id to say she had cheated. I believed it when i shouldn't have. I knew Millie wouldn't do that but my mind thought ahead of me and i made everything a big deal like always. But i made it right, i apologised and everything was fine after that.

Going home that night id kind of realised that she hadn't met my parents yet. Maybe it was time. We had arranged for her to come round the following day. My dad was excited to see what she was like after for the past 20 days non stop ranting about her. The morning came round, my dad was in a great mood, which was surprising. Millie was around 5 minutes away and instead of preparing i was roaming in the downstairs cupboard for a damn alen key. What even was one of those because i seriously had no idea.
Millie came as i was looking for one. Her and my dad were laughing at me. As if i didn't know what an alen key was. God damn.

My dad left so we ended up going upstairs after that. As her attention span could not sit and watch a film. She fell in love with my cat. My cat is called Djinn. Let's just say he's a little shit. He saved my mental health though, i'll always love him, he's my boy. The day was nice, we talked a lot. I guess that's all it really is. Talking. I would not change anything about us though. As boring as some people may say we are. I'd rather it be like this than anything else.

Her mum picked her up later that night.
I think i was getting used to being in love again. After i swore it was it. I think there was more to me than just heartbreak and wallowing in my own self pity. Now she's here there's none of that. I feel like myself. I'm still in here. I thought i was done but i guess not. She saved me.

A dog walk day!!!!
I loved walking her dog with her, something about it was so nostalgic, as that's how our friendship started. I loved it. I just loved spending time with her i guess.
She went to take Poppy home as it was getting cold but she came back out after on her own to see me. I guess we were just walking around. It was dark out. She still had 20 minutes before she had to start walking to meet her mum and dad. She mentioned Bens tree, and how i've never taken her there. I guess people have to be really special for that, but she was. We started heading over there. It was nice to show her to be honest, it's probably my weakest point, but she loved me even so.

The next day it was Pride. Millie had numerous friends that were going. So that's what she was supposed to be doing. I don't know if i was entirely okay with the group of friends she was with. There was a specific friend of hers i saw as a threat even though i shouldn't. He was called Kc. What was unsettling was he used to be related to my ex, step siblings. I think anything that mentioned my ex or had something to do with my ex was a threat. That relationship haunted me for so long and i did some things i'm not proud of. Things i'd never do to Millie. I didn't want her to get the idea i was still like that.

So i tried to fight him off. To get him away. Like my brain didn't let things be i guess. So we got into our biggest argument yet. I genuinely thought she was going to leave me for the way i reacted. The night was silent. The silence was so damn loud. I couldn't not loose my mind. The messages she was sending just gave me the idea that this was the end. For a moment i felt a wave of regret, and guilt wash over me. I was absolutely terrified. I had been to get my haircut, the next day. I got an M in my hair. I thought it suited it.

She came round again. Everything was more settled this time i guess. My niece Avayah was also in the area. So we took a walk with my sister and stuff. Getting back to mine we were just outside talking. I accidentally clicked on Millie's camera roll. I think the minute of silence was just shock.