𝘋𝘐𝘍𝘍𝘐𝘊𝘜𝘓𝘛-𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦

𝑴𝒊𝒍𝒂 𝑾𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒔

Looking up at him I only saw his eyes flicker between my eyes and my lips, multiple times. The tension enclosed by us increased at an insane amount and suddenly I found myself starving for his lips, his touch on my hand was welcomed and his breath that made shiver also created an crazy amount of fondness in my body. And I was welcoming them with arms wide open.

Moreover I was willing to welcome him, his lips, every bit of him, despite how scared I was at the same time, because let's be real, I was terrified. I was about to let my guard down, assignable to the emotions he evoked inside of me. Sensations I've never, ever in my life felt and now, I was sitting in front of a boy I haven't even known for a week and I would've freely gave myself to him.

Was I insane for doing that? This question aided its way in my head, into my already messy thoughts and the answer to that doubt in me was yes, but I couldn't care less. Even if the rationality of the situation was telling me to get away from Skyler as soon as possible, but I did not give a shit. Not when half of my body was screaming at me in protest, because the other half was stroner this time. The faithful one, that was telling me to atleast give it a try, despite the risk of it all.

I wlooked him in the eyes again and it sparkled with something I couldn't define, because I had no time to, since those beautiful eyes, flickered down to my lips again, with shallow breathing he leaned even closer to me and I closed my eyelids, waiting for the moment, I've dreaded and dreamed of at the same time, to happen.

But then, when our lips almost touched and my body would've been freed from the incredible mass of pressure it had to enduere, he jerked away from me. Snapping my eyes open I glaned up at him as tears startet to well, blurying my vision.

Standing up from the bench he held his head in his hands, still breathing heavily. I jumped up too, with my heart hammering in my chest, now not with anticipation, but with anxiety and despair, that I let myself belive for this one time. That I let myself belive he felt the same way as I did.

'Uhm- I-I need to get my stuff before my mom arrives.' he told me, slowly backing away from me, still holding his head.

'S-sure.' I chocked out, trying to prevent the tears from falling from eyes, by blinking them away, but one still managed to roll down on my cheek. Seeing this, Skyler's face scrunched up in pain and for a moment he hesitated, stopped in his tracks and looked at me with sorrow refecting in his eyes.

But again, I was let down, when I saw him turn around and hurry down on the empty hallway, dissapearing from my vision and I was left there, alone with my thoughts, which was never a positive experience for me.

I waited there for a few seconds though, hoping he'd turn around and come running back to me, but when he did't seem to be doing that, I let my tears fall. Millions of salty drops rolled down on my face as I stood there like an idiot, waiting for a miracle to happen, that I can disappear from the face of earth.

I have no idea for how long I've stayed there, I completely lost track of time. The first thing to snap out of my concerningly long trance was the ringing of my phone. For a few seconds I remained still, not making any moves to snatch the device out of my pocket.

By the time I would've done that, the call ended, so I decided not to get my phone, so instead I sat back down to the bench, to the same one I almost, just almost had my first kiss and had my heart broken by a boy for a first time.

Pathetic.

I genuenly thought I was pathetic for thinking something like this could happen to me, that a boy like Skyler would actually like me and make a move. That finally after waiting for my whole life, something good will happen to me.