Perish: Book Three (bxb) ✔️

14. You scare me, August.

Kayax Adler

Okay, I was putting my big boy pants on today. 

Ever since my mini-breakdown over Elijah in front of his son, I kind of avoided him like the plague. Listen, I wasn't cruel. Plus, I had no idea how to begin to explain what I felt when he... held me. It was a toss-up between feeling like a toddler who couldn't control his emotions and feeling... safe and comforted.

The second option was winning, just in case anyone was curious.

I only spent the last two days avoiding August, but I needed to mentally reset after that one. I didn't expect to spill my Elijah secret to the last person I'd ever thought I'd tell. And I knew when August laughed, he wasn't laughing at me, and I knew he didn't find it ridiculous, but... I did. I opened up to him so easily because he was willing to talk to me.

Someone was willing to talk to me, and it made it much easier for me to open the floodgates because I also had feelings for the guy. Which was still weird, by the way. But god, I had a peek at August's soft side, and I wanted to fangirl over it with someone. 

Now that I was feeling better, I found the perfect victim to screech about it with. I walked into my office on the floor of this company, throwing my arm in the air with a sinisterly-sweet smile as I wiggled my fingers. "Oh, Brutus! I have some tea, so do get--hey, where are you going?!"

"Away from you. I don't do tea. I'm not into gossip. I'm not--"

"I sign your checks now!"

"You're broke."

I huffed, setting a hand on my hip as I watched him try to collect his four mini muffins from the table. "I might be broke, but it's your job to get me something back. Or, try. I won't be mad if you don't get it back. I already figured it was gone. I accepted that long ago."

Brutus groaned, falling back into his chair when he tried and failed to get everything on the table into his hands. "Fuck it, I already made the wonderful mistake of outing myself. This has to be my penance."

I hopped onto the top of my desk, crossing one leg over the other. "Now, I have you all gathered here today," Brutus glanced over his shoulder as I spoke, starting to check the empty chairs to exaggerate the point that I had no friends. Ha, the joke was on him—that didn't affect me. "Anyways, August was sitting in front of my door two nights in a row. I know, I know. I know what you're going to say, Brutus."

"Oh, I don't think you do, but go ahead."

"You're going to tell me to marry him so you don't have to deal with me anymore."

He tapped his chin, sarcasm dripping from his following words. "Oh, yeah, you hit the nail on the head. Continue."

I rolled my eyes, feeling a smile tug on the corner of my lips. "I told August about my Elijah fanboy era."

"You do mean the era you're still in, right?"

"Hardly the point, Brutus, keep up!" I folded my hands on my knees as I straightened up to that perfect posture. "Anyway, I kind of ended up crying because of feelings, whatever. And August hugged me. Can you believe it?"

"Oh, my god, I've joined the Gossip Girls club against my will. Wait, let me see if I can get this right." He threw his hands out, batting his eyelashes as he put on his best girlish voice. "O-M-G, did he also dust a kiss over your forehead? Or perhaps your lips?"

"Ugh, I wish, but no. That can't happen; I think he knows that."

"Do you just ignore sarcasm, or?"

I snorted a laugh as I saw a grin trying to take over his lips. "Anyway, I think I'm... kind of friends with August, but I'm kind of nervous because I saw the awful fallout between him and Salem. Honestly, I've been a little too afraid to ask if they are doing okay. I mean, selfishly, I want to be friends with August, but I feel like... that's too much of a risk."