Perish: Book Three (bxb) ✔️

31. Can I please, please, go home?

Kayax Adler

Honestly, I didn't think it could get so quiet around here with so many people standing or sitting around. It was kind of ominous, but I felt better. I was waiting for Lennox to say something. I wanted him to tell me how he felt, too. I wanted to validate how he felt about my existence. But I couldn't validate that they truly made assumptions about me unfairly. I had evidence of that with how everyone here had looked at me at one time or another.

Some of them I'd never seen in person, but I was tired of people telling me that I had to be the only one to apologize. I had to make up for my sins. What about the sins they committed? Why was it somehow only up to me to drag myself over the gravel on my knees to earn their respect? And on top of that, how did everyone expect me to respond to their hostility? Almost everyone had hostility toward me.

August did by blasting into my office when we met and immediately looking at me like I was scum. And that was before I knew who he was. Lennox looked at me with disgust that day, too. Elijah, I wasn't sure. He didn't... particularly look at me, so I didn't have a judgment. But when I got here, almost everyone had looks of disgust. Even the ones in this family who'd never seen me in person.

The Luna family was capable of doing things wrong, even if it was in the name of protecting someone they loved. They still had the ability to make me feel like shit. And even through it, I never changed my opinion about them... except after Lennox threw me off August's property. Looking at Elijah as my hero didn't feel right anymore. It felt tainted.

Was anyone going to talk, or were we going to continue to look at our shoes?

Should I... talk about August? He's kind of my favorite subject these days. Everyone was too quiet, so... maybe I'll just talk about August.

I glanced around as it seemed like people were thinking about what I said. Lennox was probably trying to figure out a way for me to see things from his perspective, and I welcomed it. But I'd change the subject, and he could talk to me about it when he was ready. I prepared for this day for a long time. I thought about what I wanted to say, and I was putting out there everything that I needed to get out after I held it in for so long.

So, I was going to talk about August and find out if I had a chance. "Lennox, I love August. And I know you aren't bad people. You... have a different perspective, and that's okay. I just wanted you all to know how it felt on my end. But I do love your son so much. Mama and my hometown in North Carolina... and Brutus, they taught me about that family kind of love. But August showed me what that all-consuming love was all about. We didn't get to see each other very often, and that's all on me. I kept... putting off meeting with you and Elijah to tell you. So, we had to keep everything a secret. But even if I didn't get to see him for very long, he knew how to make those seconds, minutes, or hours count.

"Every day, he knew how to brighten everything with smiles, even if I was having a bad day. He is respectful. He's kind. He's compassionate. He puts others before himself, but sometimes I wished he'd like... not do that. He used to glue my press-on nails because he knew I sucked at it, and he wanted to help. He took a risk and came to North Carolina with me because I hadn't been able to see or communicate with my family since I was eighteen. And I was so nervous. But I also wanted to share it all with him. They do love him more than me, by the way. He doesn't judge me for my weird quirks, and trust me, there are a lot of those. He dances with me even when there is no music playing. He tells me that he'll always flirt with me because he needs me to know what he will always feel about me.

"And do you know what him doing all of that tells me?" Lennox finally picked up his head and looked at me. I couldn't read his expression, but something felt a little heavy about it. So, I smiled at him. "That you two did raise an exceptional human being. Salem, too. But it tells me what I already knew. That you guys, this entire family, you're all amazing. You're loving and supportive. You taught him all the important and valuable lessons. You loved him unconditionally. And when you set him free, I can assure you that he never let you down.