Skin Chemistry (Chemistry And Sparks Series #1)

Chapter Seventeen

Honesty

Trigger Warning: Mention of Self Harm.

"Which hand is softer? Kay Yno… o sa ‘kin?"

Hindi ko alam anong sasabihin. Anong gagawin. Lalo na ngayong magkalapat ang mga kamay naming dalawa. Palm to palm. He’s also really close to me that I could not feel my breath anymore.

What kind of question is that?

He noticed that I was quiet—stunned is the better word if I were to be asked. Kaya naman, dahan-dahan niyang pinaghiwalay ang kamay namin sa isa’t isa ang nginitian na lang ako ng pilit.

I know how to differentiate a genuine smile with a forced one. Hindi iyon nakatakas sa akin.

"Nevermind that."

That was the moment I finally swallowed the lump in my throat. His stares earlier were so intense that I almost forgot how to regulate my breathing. May iba talaga. Ano ba ang nangyayari? Is holding hands with Yno a big deal to him?

"I’m sorry…" he whispered softly. Halos hindi ko iyon marinig.

Lumingon ako kaagad sa gawi niya, nalilito. "Huh? Saan?"

"I suddenly touched you." His eyes met mine again. He looks so apologetic as if what he did was punishable by law.

Napabuntonghininga ako kasabay ng marahan na pag tawa. Akala ko naman kung anong pinagso-sorry-han niya. Iyon lang pala.

"Ayos lang naman…" umiwas ako ng tingin. Pakiramdam ko ay umiinit na naman ang tenga tsaka pisngi ko.

I really don’t mind it. Siya na nga nag sabi na pwede naming gawin iyon, e. Na maging comfortable na kami sa isa’t isa and that I can do that with him whenever I want or need to. So bakit siya nagso-sorry ngayon?

"I thought I crossed a line," he explained further.

My lips parted a little. So that was the reason. Despite saying that we are now inside each other’s boundary, he is still being cautious—careful around me. Takot siyang maka-cross ng line na hindi ko gugustuhin. That’s actually nice and… thoughtful. That made me realize na hindi porket ni-let down na namin ang walls para sa isa’t isa, ay pwede na kaming makagawa ng mga bagay without thinking about it thoroughly. I like that.

I shook my head while chuckling subtly, amused by his thoughtfulness. "No naman…" I took a pause. "Okay lang naman sa akin." Umiwas ako ng tingin at itinungo ang mga mata sa sahig. Wow. Ang kinis.

Why is my heart making a big deal out of this? Ayos lang naman talaga sa akin, e. Kung friends ko iyon, si Ayi o si Yuan, ayos lang sa akin. Sanay naman kasi ako sa skin ship. I don’t mind when others touch me since it’s something I grew up thinking that’s normal. Basta lang ay walang malisya na nakatinta sa bawat hawak na inilalapat sa aking balat ay wala akong problema roon.

"Alright then," he subtly chuckled as those words came out of his mouth. There it is again. That feeling. This is so unfair… he’s causing me such fatal damage. Ang sarap pakinggan ng pag tawa niya. He’s glowing when he is smiling. He looks best when he is smiling while his eyes disappear drowning because of the euphoria dancing in his face.

"Uwi na tayo?" Malambing niyang boses, hinaharana ako.

"S-sige."

"Are you okay? You look… pink."

"Huh? Ah, kumain kasi ako ng strawberry kanina—" hindi ko natuloy ang sasabihin ko dahil sa pag tawa niyang muli.

"You ate a strawberry? Then it plastered a color on your cheeks?" He asked me with a hint of playful tone with those remarks.