Arrange Marriage

Chapter 60

Mikhael's POV

It's already 4 am and I'm still awake, not feeling the sleepiness in my whole body. I haven't worn my shorts as I was just in my boxer and a black dri-fit shirt. I tried to sleep but I couldn't, I even tried to close my eyes for a whole hour but it just didn't work. I don't feel anything but just awkwardness and guilt after what just happened earlier. The room was a mess, clothes all over the floor and the broken lampshade that fell because of the continuous creak of the bed.

I didn't know what to do, and for a few minutes, I just found myself in front of Ayara's bedroom-standing like an idiot.

"Should I apologize? But how? I couldn't build up a strength to talk to her after what happened" I whispered to myself while biting my nails and walking back and forth.

I felt guilty, I know I should have apologized but I don't think I can. Why do I have to apologize? It doesn't feel so wrong, she's not married to someone else and plus, we're a family.

But we're just...we're not together.

I build up courage and release a breath before opening the door, I don't have time to knock for the reason that it'll just make a noise. As soon as I opened the door, Ayara was there sitting on the bed not so in the distance-zoning out completely while staring at the bedsheet. I approached her gradually, she's aware of my presence but didn't care to budge. It felt like she was waiting for me to get near her.

I don't know what to do, pakiramdam ko ay tinakasan ako ng kaluluwa. I can't think of anything, what if she's regretting what had happened? We had a sex but somehow, somehow felt so wrong to her.

Ayara tapped the space beside her, allowing and inviting me to sit beside her. I didn't hesitate and sat carefully. We just sat there for a few minutes, no one dared to speak even me. I couldn't find the right words to say, should I apologize? Should I ask her how she was? Should I comfort her? I don't know.

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out and suddenly, she spoke.

"Earlier.." Ayara started, leaving a space and sigh before adding up.

"What happened earlier was..real, isn't it?" She asked. I don't know why she is asking that.

"Yeah, I'm sorry..." I apologized and lowered my head. That's the word that came out of my mouth. What was I sorry for?

And then, Ayara turned to face me. She showed a confused stare, I couldn't read her emotion but I know she has something to say.

"You're sorry for what happened earlier? That was a mistake for you?" She asked, trying to steady her voice.

"I...I didn't want that to happen, I was carried away with my emotions.." I responded, she was startled and widened her eyes. I saw how she clinched her fist and was ready to punch me anytime.

"I was...I was in need, I needed someone to satisfy m-" but before I could speak, I felt a hard slap in my cheeks.

That's when I woke up in an empty room, I wasn't at Ayara's bedroom-I was in my room.

What? That was just a dream?

Fuck, that feels so real.

I felt relief at hinawi ang buhok ko.

Nagising ako nang makita na malinis ang kwarto ko, the clothes scattered on the floor weren't here anymore, my comforter was here and I was tucked in it and also the lampshade was fine at ang pagkakaalam ko ay nasira ito.