Sleeping With My Lover, Living With My Wife

Thirteen

*Pete's POV*

Hey... I can't stop thinking about you. I love you and miss you like crazy 😘

The first message from Patrick breaks my heart. I'm positive he means it, and more than anything, I want to send the same thing back to him. I can't muster up the ability to do it, though, knowing that he's probably in bed with that fucking wife of his right now. So, I don't reply.

A couple minutes later, my phone vibrates and the notification shows that I have another message from Patrick. I want to ignore it, but I can't.

Pete, please talk to me. I know you hate me right now, and I completely understand, but I need a chance to explain a few things.

Somehow, this one hurts even more than the last. Tears begin to blur my vision and attempt to will them away, but it only causes them multiply and roll down my cheeks. I don't even bother to wipe them away; I've been crying almost nonstop since the moment Patrick left.

I don't know how to reply to this message. All I want is to see him and hear his angelic voice again, but I can't forgive him that easily, no matter how badly I want to.

My phone vibrates several more times before I find myself able to pick up my phone and read the messages.

I love you, and me having a wife or a child won't ever change that!

Please! I need to talk to you! There is so much left I haven't told you!

Just answer me! Please?

I love you

I don't reply to any, and eventually he stops sending them. I figure he fell asleep, so I get up off the floor and sluggishly walk into the bedroom to do the same. I don't take the time to change, and crawl into the bed Patrick and I have shared so many incredible moments in, and cry myself to sleep.

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I'm instantly waken up from my slumber by something--someone--grabbing me. I scream from the top of my lungs, but my mouth is instantly covered by a warm hand. My heartbeat settles from the sound of a familiar voice saying, "Shhh Petey, it's okay! It's just me!"

"Patrick? Why fuck are you trying to give me a heart attack in the middle of the night? Are you fucking crazy?" I whisper scream once he removes his hand from my mouth.

He giggles and says, "Just a little." I can't help but laugh along with him. I've missed him too much not to.

Once our laughter fades, I ask, "Uh, so how the hell did you get in?"

"You did give me your spare key, remember?" he smirks.

I roll my eyes dramatically, forgetting about that. "Actually, I did forget, but now that you mention it, you can give them back. You won't be needing them anymore," I say sternly.

Patrick sticks his lip out and pouts, unwilling to give the key back. "I'm serious! I don't want you coming back to scare the shit out of me in the middle of the night!" I scold.

He crosses his arms, still refusing to return them. "Whatever, but why are you here, anyway?" I ask.

"Oh yeah!" Patrick exclaims. "Because I love you, Petey!"

"You came here just to tell me that?" I question coldly.

"Well, I didn't know if you were okay. You weren't replying to any of the messages I sent you, so I figured I'd come and tell you in case you didn't get them," he says.

"Okay, so you told me. You can go back home now!" I say, my voice filled with venom.

"Why? Don't you have anything else you want to tell me?" Patrick asks while nudging me.

"Nope."

"Seriously Pete? Nothing?" he asks sadly.

"If you want me to tell you that I love you too, it's not going to happen, okay? I'm done with whatever this is! I'm done listening to you tell me you love me, even though you're married! I'm just done! So no, Patrick, I don't have anything to say to you!"

His lip quivers as he attempts to hold back tears. I hate seeing Patrick so sad, so I push him away from me so I don't have to look at him, which only causes him to cry more.

"So you don't love me?" he asks between sobs.

"That's not what I said! I love you so much it hurts, Patrick! But it hurts even more to continue saying it to you when you could never love me the way the way I love you!"

"Do you really mean that?" he chokes.

"Of course I do! Unlike some people, I don't lie to the person I love!" I spit.

"Pete! You don't get it! Let me explain, please! I don't love Allie! I'm going to leave her! I love you! Please," he begs.

"I don't want to hear it! I need to move on, and the only way I can do that is if you leave me alone and promise to stop talking to me for good! I don't want to see you ever again!"

Patrick opens his mouth to speak, but closes it and glares at me with a look of disappointment. "Why don't you tell me how you really feel?" he sasses before turning around and leaving, loudly slamming the door behind him.

"Patrick! Wait!" I shout after him, but it's too late. He's gone.