Aeviternal

4

It had been an hour of screaming and running around, cause of course Robbie got peanut butter on his shirt. Becca gave up a few minutes ago and mom drank a whole bottle of wine, because of a shirt.

I walked up the steps and stood in front of my parents room,I took a deep breath and pushed the door open. It was familiar, I remember running in here and jumping on mom and dads bed on Christmas morning or slipping in the middle when there was thunder.

I walked over to the closet and opened it, there they were, dads clothes. I scanned over the clothing, I pulled a white dress shirt out and smiled slightly, I pulled it over my nose and it smelled just like him, men aftershave with a slight touch of downy.

I held it to my chest for a while until Robbie appeared through the door. "Everything okay?" He asked, Robbie was always looking out for me, in all the situations, even if I had caused the problems. "Yeah, found you a dress shirt" i sighted, handing it over to him.
"Oh, no....I'm not worthy to wear dads shirt"

he looked down at the shirt, it held so much more meaning though. "It's what he would have wanted" i reassured "if you spilled peanut butter on your only dress shirt" I giggled.

Robbie chuckled and looked up at me "thank you sis" I nodded slightly but he was thanking me for other reasons, something we weren't ready to talk about. "You better change and I better go downstairs and meet the guests before mom tries to drink another wine bottle" I ran out the room and down the steps and just on time, the people started crowding in, like a Gatsby party.

It was a fake smile I wore, I didn't really like these people. They had made my life a living hell for an entire month, reason for my escape from this town, nobody really ever knows somebody. I sat along my mother when everyone had settled and socialized around the house. "I think I need another wine bottle" my mother hummed, I giggled slightly "you don't need bottles mother, you need a nap" she nodded slightly. I looked around the room and sighted "why did you do this? Why did these people have to come here?" I ask, I was tired of people intruding in my families life, it was uncommon to not find a neighbors eyes watching over us, it's like we were the family of the hour....all of the hours.

Robbie was in the corner of the room talking to some of his old class mates and I was more then desperate to run towards him and demand his company but I didn't want to intrude. I heard the door open and the voice of my aunt greeting a couple. I looked from the corner of my eye, the last person I ever wanted to see. My breath hitched and I gripped onto the ends of the chair. I had to run, I had to hide, he couldn't see me, not now.

There he stood watching over the room, the person who had held me from coming to this town ever again. He seemed calm, his wife standing besides him like he hadn't loved someone else.

"Mom....." I whispered, like if my voice was any higher his eyes would find me quicker. "You invited them?" I was ready to cry, tears soared to the bridge of my eyes. I swallowed the lump that made my throat dry. "I didn't actually think they would come...it's been 5 years since I spoke to them...." My mother explained "it was straight out of courtesy".

I took a deep breath, it felt like all the oxygen was disappearing from where I sat and I wanted nothing more but to disappear. "Just stay calm, kata...it will be alright" but it wasn't, I needed to leave. I stood up quickly and I knew I had caught everyone's attention including theirs. The room went silent, the crowd was expecting a show.
"Kata?"
My cousin Lilian called after me as I rushed into the kitchen, all the people that stood their soon disappeared through the living room and the room was back to its loud roar of a diversity of conversations. I hunched over and opened the bottom cabinet searching for a tequila bottle, I quickly found it and poured myself an entire glass cup, I had a problem.

I chugged it all down, avoiding the burning of my throat and the tears rolling down my cheeks, when I was down with the glass, I slammed it down on the counter and already I could feel the buzz. Getting drunk in my fathers memorial wasn't a good idea but he knew I was going to do it, he knew I wasn't really strong, I would have to break at some point, seek the comfort of others things besides my mother and Robbie. I leaned against the counter and took a deep breath. Someone stepped into the kitchen and I looked up to face one of my high school boyfriends, he smiled slightly.
"Hey kata"
His eyes fell from my figure to the glass cup to the half empty tequila bottle sitting besides it.
"You know it doesn't help, after the buzz is over your back to facing the real world" he said honestly, my tongue was numb now, I sniffed slightly, the burning of my throat still there. I cleared my throat and hummed.
"At least I can avoid the real world for a couple of hours and I'm fine with that" my words were now slurred but I didn't mind.

"I'll leave you then" he said, leaving the kitchen.

I smiled slightly and grabbed the tequila bottle and slipped into the backyard, some people stood by enjoying a conversation, i gave them a sympathetic smile and walked over to the swing set that was now decorated with overgrown plants, it gave it a nice presentation though.

I sat down and took a sip of the content in my cup, it burned my throat and i hissed. I didnt mind it though, it actually reminded me that this was reality not some dream ill soon be snapping awake from.

"Im guessing thats not water your drinking"

I remained still, my heart dropped to my toes as i picked my head up to meet the familiar face.

He had a beard now, it looked nice on him though, he still smiled the same way, his eyes were vibrant as they always were. He sat on the swing besides mine and i looked up to watch over the people who were already looking our way.

"Not exactly"

I muttered, the alcohol giving me some kind of courage i would have never gotten while i was sober. I looked over at him and smiled slightly.

"Look at you, your all grown up..."

He admired, i wanted to cry and collapse into his arms. I blinked and looked away

"I guess thats what happenes in 5 years"

I laughed dryly.

"I guess so...."

I thought our first meet up would have been more emotional, i would cry into his arms and he would hold me like he used to. Instead, here we were sitting in old rusty swings having shared words not an actual conversation.

It might have been because everyone was watching us now or because we had changed as people, i know i had i dont know much about him though.

"Jake!"

The blonde walked out the home and stood by the door frame. Jake stood up, he glanced back down at me and then at her, she covered her eyes from the sun and wore a sympathetic smile, not towards me but towards herself.

He never loved her.

He loved me.

He used to love me...i guess.

I dont know how accurate these claims were.

"Come join me inside! The phillips want to talk about their sons grades!"

She cheered as if was the most exciting thing in the world. He smiled down at me and gave me a small nod as he walked off.

I looked down and gulped the rest of my hard liquor down with a hiss. I stood up, everyone was still staring at the after affect of the show me and jake had just given them.

"Go on now, enjoy my fathers memorial cause i aint gonna have another dead father any time soon"

I shouted.

They all scrambled back to their conversations like i hadnt just called them out on their bullshit.

They were pathetic

This entire situation was pathetic.