Aeviternal

9

This was real, his lips against mine, they were real, my heart racing against my chest, real. I opened my eyes slightly taking in what was happening, he pulled away with closed eyes and then slowly fluttered them open like if he were to open them any quicker we would both fade away.

"I'm sorry"

He muttered, he reached over to wipe a tear I had no idea I was shedding. I looked down onto my socks once again, I finally had what I've been wanting for so long, him.
I sniffed and sort of wiped my lips like a child tasting some bad medicine, I looked up into his beautiful eyes and my knees almost gave up and I swore everything around me was spinning but I held myself together like a soldier at frontline waiting to die.
"You need to go"
He needed to go because he had a wife at home, he had to go because I had once ruined his life and I wasn't going to do it once again, he needed to go because if he stayed I would have kissed him more and I would make him make bad decisions.

"Why do you push me away"

His raspy voice spoke like a child getting in trouble

"Can't you see, me and you, we don't work out, I tried to make you feel bulletproof but you had too much to loose jake.....you and me, we destroy anything in our path like hurricanes and even when we try to be good.....we end up being bad"

Tears were spilling down my cheeks but my voice wasn't shaking, he stood there quiet but I wanted his smile,  I wanted his goofy grin, yet, i knew the words escaping from my mouth weren't exactly the ones to get him to do so.

"Hey! Moms making brow-"

Robbie stopped infront of the door, a concerned glance at my face.

"Everything is fine"

Jake muttered without facing him.

"Just peachy"

This time he turned around and stormed off, Robbie just stood there speechless, I crumbled to the floor and there was Robbie in an instant by my side, trying to piece me back together like he had broken me but I was long gone broken.

"It's not your fault"

That's all he said and it soothed me entirely, I buried my face Into his chest screaming on top of my lungs, this wasn't about me, coming here wasn't about me, nothing was supposed to be about me, my dad had just passed away and selfish me, I had to go back to my old ways, finding a way to make it about me.
I hadn't even asked if Robbie was fine, if he ate himself at night like I did but he was so selfless....always a good brother.

"Why don't we slip into something comfy, watch some old movies from when we were kids and endulge in some of moms brownies...bet that will make you feel better......"

"Sure"

But nothing would make me happy, not even moms brownies.