Clandestine | 18+

27~ Change In Soul

Sailor Song-Gigi Perez
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"Once a soul feels fire, water doesn't stop it, it grows it."
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Estelle Adler Camelli

I felt comfortable and relaxed for the first time in my life. I never slept, never, and suddenly my bed seemed like such a good place. It was suddenly more hard though, but my body apparently didn't seem to mind.

It felt like I was hugging the bed, just my arms were around something... spiral? Cylinder shaped? I didn't care. I just cared that my eyes were shut down for the first time in God knows how many years.

Somehow the bed also ran something, that felt like fingers, through my hair. God, I loved this bed.

Wait.

Fingers?

I opened my eyelids, my eyes comfortable since the room was dark. I tilted my head behind to stare at one of the most beautiful faces I had ever seen in my life. A sudden panic burst through me.

Had I slept, on him, for the first time, after so many years of not being able to close my eyes?

And he let me?

I was very comfortable, but the little panic on my stomach made me to pull away from him.

The moment I put my palms on his chest to get up, he stopped me by putting his hand on my lower back and pulled me against his chest.

"You don't have to go." His cold voice echoed in the room.

God, staying on top of him was so comfortable, so warm.

"I want to go." My voice was sleepy, lower since I didn't have my guards up.

I felt him stiffen, his hand starting movements on my back, his fingers moving up and down my spine.

"Sleep some more. It's early." he kissed my head never stopping his movements.

"I don't sleep." I yawned and I was surprised I even did.

My voice was still mine.

"I will make you sleep, mia cara." his voice softened, and for the first time he called me whatever he did without mockery in his tone.

"What does that mean?" I questioned him, my head snuggling into his neck. God, he was so warm.

He added fingers running through my hair.

"Nothing, go sleep." He ordered me softly.

I wanted to keep questioning him, but somehow, sleep was drawing me in, like a wave pulling me into the sea, but I felt eternal peace instead of agony.

I felt his rough hands on my body, on my hair, my face in the crook of his neck, his arms hugging my body.

I could not remember the last time someone held me like this. Or if they even did at all.

I slept, and slept. My body relaxed, my atoms dancing in the warmness of him, I slept until I didn't know if I was crazy or going crazy, if it was me anymore staying on top of him. If I was in a dream inside a dream, knowing I truly don't dream.