Clandestine | 18+

19~Shadows of Legacy

Bathroom- Montell Fish
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"In a game of chess, the white may start first to attack, but the black might win."
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Being a human doesn't give you a bigger advantage compared to the others you share this world with. You do not step over animals for the sole reason of them being beneath you in rank. Same as humans.

Someone may be poorer, but their soul could be pricier. Sometimes life throws your way shit only you could handle, testing and teasing until your last breath on this earth.

When you start drowning back to the ground you came from only to go up the sky to see the holy gates. If you had the luck.

After all, Lucifer could still pay you a visit.

Right now? I knew that I was about to cry, to let my emotions flow for the first time in over seven years. But I couldn't. I wouldn't.

For my sake and what the person in front of me had taught little Estelle.

"Dieu, Estelle." [God, Estelle.] He hugged me as he found my body curled on the floor, wanting to cry but not allowing myself to. "Dear, look at me." His French accent heaved, his throat bobbed, as he wanted to join me blocking myself of any emotion, training my heart.

I shook my head, my ponytail following the motion. "No." I said, my voice steady but my soul crashing little by little, dropping onto my organs as I felt them shaking. Or it was me.

I didn't know.

My father showed me pictures of my mother. Today would be her birthday.

I looked so much like her, no wonder my father behaved differently around me.

I reminded him of the woman he once loved and still did, even after she didn't live in the same place as her husband, but somewhere else where only she could see him. Judge him. Love him. Try to touch him, but he never would feel the caress of her touch.

He told me I used to be so much like her when I was little. Now I wasn't.

I still am, I wanted to shout, to break something, to hit someone.

I still am strong, fearless. I wanted to grip his hands.

But I only laughed in that high pitched voice of mine.

"You sounded so much like her." He whispered, but I heard.

Maybe he wouldn't be in so much pain if I didn't act. If I was me.

"Never cry, chère. Never think anything is above you. Even pain. Scream, fight, but don't cry. Never accept defeat. Always walk carefully, chère, never run mindlessly."

"Louis." I repeated and he slowly walked towards the sidewalk.

He brushed my hair.

He smelled so fucking bad, but felt so familiar.

He was the one who never gave up on her, little me. Who made her, her. Made Clandestine ruthless.

Who made her the successful business woman she was today.

"Ma chérie, je suis là. Chut, calme-toi." [My darling, I'm here. Shh, calm down."] Such familiar words, ones who had been whispered into her ear whenever she was about to break down.

"Where have you been, tu m'as manqué." [I've missed you.] I muttered into his nape.

"I've missed you too, but have heard lots of words from you. Glad you have followed that path." His familiar French twisting at my heart.