White Lies

Memory

The doctor suggests that talking to Aga might stimulate his brain activity.

Lea can barely bring herself to look at how Aga looks, clad in pale blue, with even paler skin.

"Talk to you?" she asks quietly, sitting by Aga’s bedside. "What do you want to talk about ba Ags? How about I'll make kwento na lang. Hmm... We're done with the taping of the blinds. Malapit na siya mag-air next week. Magvisit ka naman sa studio, namimiss ka na daw nila..."

Lea touched the outline of his nose.

"-namimiss na kita. It's been two weeks Ags. Please gumising ka na." Lea whispered as her voice cracks.

She doesn't want Aga to hear her cry again.

She fiddles with his phone, opening a playlist. “This is your playlist, you know. God, you have some depressing songs on here.”

Her thumb hovered on the song Promise Me for seconds after finally decided to tap it to play. She rests her chin on her hand after setting his phone by the bedside table, making sure the music isn’t too loud.

She wants to know what Aga thought about this song. Why he was even listening to it, to begin with.

"Do you even know this song was dedicated for young?"

She wants to hear Aga’s voice, or at least, a hum - an indication that he feels the music keenly; an indication that he’s alive and present .

"Please," Lea whispers, her voice getting lost in the sound of the music echoing quietly from his phone.

She wants a reply. A sign.

Instead, all Lea gets is a slow, repetitive beeping sound.

--

There is the smell of rubbing alcohol, sharp and distinct. My eyelids feel weighted shut, light glowing through them in a reddish-yellow assurance that at least I haven't been dumped in a dark alley. My brain is awake now, with a primal surge of adrenaline that should carry me up to standing but cold, heavy limbs disobey. A background noise, a soft intermittenet electronic beep, comes to the forefront now as it gathers speed, the beep closer together.

The shuffle of footsteps bring warm fingers that press my arm lightly.

"Ah, you're awake." A pleasant voice.

I'm grateful until I smell a rush of alcohol and feel it wet my inner arm. It must be a needle that bites deep as the soothing voice speaks again.

"We'll soon take care of that."

--

"Ano pong nangyayari Doc?" Arlene asked as Aga went limp and lost conciousness again.

"We can see he is coming back. There is nothing to worry, it is normal for coma patients to get agitated the moment they wake up. Gising siya pero hindi siya makagalaw, even opening his eyes is a hard task. His muscles need to gain strengths. The sedative is good for an hour or two. We will assess him again once he calmed down."

Arlene nodded.

"Thank you po Doc."

Arlene went closer to Aga's bed and touched his brothers cheek. She took her phone and called someone.

"Hello Rona."

--

"How's Aga?"

Lea sighed and fixed the earphones on her ear.

"Still the same Dawn, no signs of waking up."

"Eh ikaw kamusta ka naman? You have to be strong for Aga, you know that right?"

"Pupunta ko ulit siya mamayang gabi. Inaantay ko lang si Rona for the briefing ng scheds. I am planning to take a leave muna this weekend."

"Good. Lets have lunch. Ipagluluto kita
I know naman naka reserve kay Aga ang night time mo."

"Yun lang kasi ang oras na walang masyadong tao sa hospital. Alam mo naman ang social media ngayon, they don't know the word privacy."

"Don't mind them. Basta ang importante si Aga okay. He will get better soon. Maniwala ka sa kanya, nagpapapansin lang yan."

"He better be Dawn. I'll see you okay. Bye."

Lea tries not to listen to the sound of the bustling around her. Tries not to listen to other moments of anguish and pain. She has enough for two lifetimes.

She looks up at the sound of footsteps, removing her earphones. It’s not like she was listening to music anyway.

“He’s awake.”

--

Like a fish of the deep rising to the surface of bright air and sun, Aga swam up to consciousness out of a dead blank into a whiter world than he had ever seen.

The daylight was blinding. He heard voices very near at hand, as if just behind his ear, talking together quietly in a business-like way.

"Do you know your name?"

Aga blinks his eyes at the man in white gown talking to him.

Nausea swarmed his senses in clots, he tried to speak but no sound was heard.

His mouth felt like he ate sand for days.

"Can you squeeze my hand?" the doctor instructed.

Aga tried and squeezed it, not hard but the sensation is felt. It took all his energy to do it.

"Good. Relax okay? Again. Do you know you name?"

Aga blinkee twice trying to look for answers behind his groggy memory.

"A-gs. Aga?" he replied.

"Okay. How about your full name. Do you know your full name?"

Aga squinted.

This is weird.

His head is hurting. Like a throbbing migraine. He began to panic. He can't find answers to what the doctor is asking.

"I- I don't know." he whispered.

---

🙃

#WhiteLies