𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 | 𝐊. 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐀

# thirty-six

#36 | DISTRACTIONS ARE JUST SUBTLE REMINDERS

The apartment felt smaller than ever, a suffocating labyrinth of memories you couldn't escape. Every room held some ghost of him: the gaming setup where he used to sit, the kitchen where you'd once clumsily cooked together, and the couch that still bore the faintest hint of his cologne.

Rin, ever the observer, saw it all—how your eyes lingered on his hoodie folded on the chair, how your fingers would graze your phone before you stopped yourself, and how you'd replay the same song on loop like it was the only thing keeping you from falling apart.

But Rin wasn't having it today.

"You're getting up," she declared, standing in the doorway of your room with her hands on her hips. Her long black hair was tied into a sleek ponytail, a look she always wore when she meant business. "We're going out."

"Not today," you muttered, burrowed under a blanket that still smelled faintly like him.

"Yes, today." She strode into the room, yanking the blanket off you with one swift motion. "I'm not letting you sit here and drown in self-pity for another second. Get dressed."

"I don't feel like it," you said, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions.

Rin crouched down in front of you, her big brown eyes softening. "I know you don't. But you need this. You don't have to talk, you don't have to smile, but you're getting out of this apartment if I have to drag you."

Half an hour later, you found yourself in the passenger seat of Rin's car, dressed in one of her oversized hoodies because you couldn't bear to wear anything of your own. She played upbeat music, the kind that used to make you both scream-sing along during late-night drives.

Now, the lyrics felt hollow. You stared out the window, your mind miles away.

"You're not allowed to mope," Rin said, snapping you out of your daze. "This is a no-mope zone."

"I'm not moping," you replied, though your tone suggested otherwise.

Rin snorted. "Could've fooled me. Anyway, first stop: the arcade."

The neon lights of the arcade were overwhelming, but Rin didn't give you a chance to protest. She grabbed your hand, pulling you toward a claw machine like a child on a sugar high.

"Alright," she said, cracking her knuckles dramatically. "Watch and learn. I'm about to win you a consolation prize."

You crossed your arms, skeptical. "You're terrible at these."

"Details," Rin said, already jamming coins into the machine.

She spent the next five minutes failing miserably, her exaggerated curses and over-the-top frustration drawing the attention of nearby kids, who giggled at her antics. For a moment, a small smile tugged at the corners of your mouth, but it quickly faded when a memory of Kenma surfaced—his focused expression as he mastered every game in this very arcade.

"Your turn," Rin said, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"I don't want to."

"Tough luck," she said, shoving the joystick into your hand. "Play."

You sighed but obliged, half-heartedly maneuvering the claw. Predictably, it dropped the prize halfway up.

"See? It's rigged," you said, stepping back.

"Or maybe you're just bad at it," Rin teased, nudging you.

Her attempt at levity didn't quite land, and she noticed the way your shoulders slumped. Without missing a beat, she dragged you to another section of the arcade, where a giant Dance Dance Revolution machine stood.

"Rin, no," you groaned.

"Rin, yes," she shot back, already selecting a song.

It wasn't long before you were back in the car, clutching a stuffed animal Rin had managed to win after insisting on trying "just one more time" at the claw machine.

She glanced at you as you traced the stitching of the plushie absentmindedly. "What're you thinking about?"

"Nothing," you lied.

Rin sighed but didn't push. Instead, she cranked up the music and rolled down the windows, letting the cool breeze whip through the car.

Back at the apartment, Rin wasn't done with her mission.

"Movie night," she announced, dumping a pile of DVDs and snacks onto the coffee table.

"You know we can stream stuff, right?" you said, raising an eyebrow.

"Where's the fun in that?" she retorted, tossing a bag of popcorn at you. "Pick a movie."

You thumbed through the stack, your heart sinking when you spotted one of Kenma's favorites. You set it aside quickly, but Rin caught the movement.

"Don't do that," she said softly.

"Do what?"

"Hide from him."

"I'm not—"

"You are," she interrupted, sitting beside you. "And it's okay to feel this way, but you can't keep pretending he didn't exist. You loved him, Y/n. That's not something you just erase."

Tears pricked your eyes, and you blinked them away furiously.

"I don't know how to stop missing him," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Rin pulled you into a side hug, resting her head on your shoulder. "You don't have to stop. Missing him doesn't mean you can't move forward, though. It just means he mattered."

The movie played in the background, but neither of you paid much attention. Rin dozed off halfway through, her long hair sprawled across the couch. You stared at the screen, the glow casting shadows on your face.

Kenma's voice echoed in your mind, fragments of conversations you'd had, promises you'd made. You clenched the stuffed animal tighter, wishing desperately that it could fill the void he'd left behind.

But it couldn't. Nothing could.

And yet, for the first time in weeks, the ache in your chest felt a little less unbearable. Maybe it was Rin's unwavering presence, or maybe it was the quiet reminder that you weren't as alone as you thought.

You weren't okay. Not by a long shot.

But you were still here. And for now, that had to be enough.

────── end of chapter ──────

▸ Does everything remind you of him? or did you find him everywhere you went.

authors note:

short chapter, im now considering therapy instead of torturing all of you.

i appreciate any votes+comments. stay safe, healthy, and hydrated :D + take care of your mental health!!!