Alone With Ross

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WINNERS OF THE COSSISCUTE CONTEST ARE *que drum roll Ellington* @ra_ura13 on Instagram and @kyliesmiley00 on twitter! Congrats!!!
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Same day

This might sound strange, but I actually like running now, especially if its towards the gates of the concert I'll being going to meet one of my idols.

Ross came behind me huffing and puffing and I only laughed, leading us towards the back of the line.

I don't know why I decided to spill my guts out earlier, but I actually feel like it was a strong reaction to the music that was made for April.

And I've actually come to terms with the fact that Ross was once in love with another person, and I used to be also... until I found out that it didn't really exist. Considering the obvious reasons, and no I am not being a downer about it.

I'm just... protecting myself from a future heartbreak.

"The line's moving." Ross said as he ushered us forward. Because of my whole sickness trip, we lost forty-five minutes of road time meaning we only have two hours to wait.

Which was good, because those lyrics I heard about myself just wouldn't leave my head. I

"She's the one you want to forget. She's the mess in your head. But every time you hear her voice,suddenly,you don't have a choice?" I asked, Ross looked at me confused for a minute before looking away in realization.

"That was around the time you annoyed the crap outa me." Ross grumbled.

"And yet, you wrote a song about me." I retorted making Ross sigh.

"Look, you have your outlet." He pointed down to my bag that contained some candy and my journal. "I can draw about you, but if you were annoying me, I'd rather you didn't find the pictures where I'm throwing you into a volcano." He chuckled and I smiled in amusement.

"You're saying that as if you've drawn it before." I broke out into a grin and he smiled back at me.

"Hey love birds, can you keep it moving while I still have my lunch?" A girl growled behind us and I snickered while leading Ross forward in the line.
***
"WOOH!" I jumped up and down continuously so I had a good perimeter of space around me and Ross stood behind me to block off the people that could potentially steal our spots in the mosh pit.

They had just finished with Into You and now they're going to play All I Wanted, and I've never been more ready in my entire fucking life.

The lights went dark, and a spotlight shined on Haley, and I screamed my lungs out as she sang the first verse.

"Think of me when you're out
When you're out there
I'll beg you nice from my knees
And when the world treats you way too fairly
Well it's a shame I'm a dream
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you."

I wanted to start crying when I found out she was singing this acapella, because to hear her voice without the band was an honor.

"I think I'll pace my apartment a few times
And fall asleep on the couch
Wake up early, the black and white re-runs
That escape from my mouth, oh
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you."

Around this time I stopped frantically jumping around just to focus on her voice, and it seemed like everyone else went silent as well.

"I could follow you to the beginning
Just to relive the start
Maybe then we'd remember to slow down
At all of our favorite parts."

I was bracing myself for her high note but Ross started taping on my shoulder and I turned around confused, but I froze as I watched his lips forming words, and the lights gleaming in his eyes, and my favorite part of my favorite Paramore song was being sung live.

It all seemed perfect.

But it wasn't.

So I did the only thing I could think of. I ran, I ran out of the crowd not even giving it a second thought or the chance for Ross to process it.

I pushed pass people frantically as Haley kept singing, and I felt my eyes start to tear up as I finally pushed pass the back of the crowd.

Once I got to the parking lot I broke down and cried, one because I was confused, two because I was doomed.

I ran out, I pushed people, and now I'm crying,

All because of what Ross said.

I shook my head now feeling awful as the memory played back. Watching the stage lights shine across his face and his lips move.

"I love you."

That's what he said, no doubt about it. Even after I told him I don't believe in it, after the fact that I felt that mine and Ross' relationship was going too fast.

But this was even faster.

I held my head in my hands processing it.

He loves me, he loves me, he loves me.

"Damn it!" I pounded at the ground in frustration as I tried to feel the warmth that should come along with those words but all I felt was fear.

The fear of not feeling it back for him, the fear of feeling it back for him, the fear of losing him and most importantly

The fear of destroying myself all over again.

I just gave up and ended up laying down on my back looking up at the sky as my tears freely flowed. And I payed no mind to the people who were walking out early, I laid there and waited for this guilt for leaving Ross in there to consume me, or better yet get ran over.

But none of those wishes were answered as the familiar noisy truck came purring beside me and Ross came quickly and lifted me up from the ground and gave me a tight hug, making me feel even worse.

"All I wanted was you."

••••••
Ok... ouch.

I cried SO BAD OH MY gOd
IM SORRY ABOUT THAT BUT IVE HAD THIS HEARTBREAKER OF A CHAPTER PLANED FOR AT LEAST A YEAR AND A HALF NOW.

Song is By Paramore it's All I Wanted and no I don't own it... copyright is such a downer trying to rub it in your face.

Thanks for reading!

-Aliah

((PS. TO THE WINNERS OF THE COSSISCUTE CONTEST PLEASE MESSAGE ME SO WE CAN CONVERSE ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL SHORT STORIES))