Alone With Ross

•13•

October 15th 2011

"Do you want to sit with me at lunch?" I was brought out of my thoughts by Piper.

"Uh, I'm not that hungry. I think I might just go to the library or something." I shrugged and put my book bag further up my shoulder.

"Okay, I'll save you a seat just in case." She immediately walked towards a group of girls and started a conversation.
I wish I had social skills like that.

I was practically running towards the library. I slowed down to look around for teachers. It was deserted.

I went up the ladder so quickly, I almost missed my step.

Opening the hatch the same scent hits my nose. Mothballs. But another scent was mixed in. I crawled into the dark room trying to find the tennis ball that was connected to the light switch, when I finally found it light flooded into the room.

But once I looked towards the seats I almost had a heart attack.

Ross was asleep in his recliner with one earbud in.

"Ross?" I shook him trying to wake him. He opens his eyes a crack and smiles at me. Then his eyes snap open and he jumps out of his seat making me fall back into mine.

"Holy shit what time is it?!" He starts patting himself down franticly trying to find his phone.

" Its lunch." Ross visibly relaxed and plopped back down into his seat.

"Oh good." I can feel the mood change. "What are you doing here." I rolled my eyes momentarily.

" I'm not hungry." Hr looked at me in confusion.

" You said that this mourning. And last night. And the day before that." I froze in place as he continued to talk.

"I'm fine." I snapped.

"Are you?!" He yelled back.

"God why are you so annoying." I put my head in my hand.

"Why are you such a bitch?" My reaction was immediate. I lurched towards his neck making us go flying back onto his seat.  He held his own though and didn't let my hands wrap around his neck. He pushed me off of him making my head bang against the wood floor.

"You little fucker!" I sat up to soothe the bump that was forming.

"That wasn't my fault!"

"Everything is your fault! You keep hurting me!"

"Why do you hate me!"

"I don't hate you! I-I hate myself." I said quietly.

"Why! Tell me why you're taking it out on me?" He grabbed my hand, and I avoided his gaze.

"I hate myself because I-I like-" Ross' phone started to ring bringing me back to reality and making me realize what a big mistake I was about to make. He picked it up quickly, no freaking hesitation.

"Hey Britney. Yeah. I know. I'll be right there. Okay. I love you too." Those last words hit my heart like an arrow that was on fire. My eyes started brimming with tears. I kept wiping but they kept flowing.

"Well, I have to go. My Girlfriend needs me." He left just like that. As if he weren't ripping my heart out and stomping on it.

••••••••••
I didn't sleep at all that night. Instead I watched him sleep. And I kept telling myself to just let the stupid feelings go. But any time he'd whisper something in his sleep I had to start the process over again. It was the last thing he whispered that made me really want to get over him.
He rolled over sighing "Britney."