Alone With Ross

•97•

Things moved along too quickly for my liking. One moment I was helping Vi arrange silverware, next I was standing next to Ross as our que came on.

Whoever thought to make Ross my escort in the wedding must love to see me in pain. Because yet again, it's seeing glimpses of a future that will never be mine, along with a man I'm not supposed to love.

My eyes couldn't help but wander towards him as we took steps down the isle. Only to see him looking at me as well. My cheeks flooded with embarrassment at being caught, and my heart fluttered with a buried desire.

I wanted this.

Soon it came time for us to part and stand on our respective sides. But unluckily for me, the positions where Ross and I stood where directly across from each other, rather than facing the audience. It felt like someone was pressing a white hot branding iron to my chest.

Then came Vi. The breath was knocked out of me as I got a flash of an image, an image of myself donned in white. Something old, something new, something borrowed and- and then it was gone, replaced with the true image of VI's radiant smile as a rendition of Etta James' At Last began to play.

"Ladies and Gentlemen we are gathered here today-" I couldn't even focus on the words the minister spoke, as the song was pulling at my heartstrings.

At last, my love has come along. My eyes connected with Ross once again, but it was almost as if I didn't have the choice to look away.

And my lonely days are over. He chewed at his lip, while I tried to will myself to look away.

And life is like a song. Someone coughing in the audience averted Ross' eyes but I was stock still.

The skies above are blue. And suddenly it was as if every laugh, every kiss, every damn tear shed was being played over and over again in my head.

My heart was wrapped up in clover the night I looked at you. From the first time I saw you.

"Is the new guy here yet?" I look to see a tall blonde boy around my age, he's wearing a Walk the Moon shirt and grey sweatpants. I'm not afraid to admit that I was checking him out. He points a me with his thumb. "Who's this?"

I found a dream that I could speak to. When you found me in the shed.

"R-Ross, do you. Care, about me?" My sentence was chopped up like a freaking robot.
"Yes I care about you, do you care about me?" My mind travels switching me and Ross' positions, to have him feel as bad as I do right now would be terrible. I wouldn't wish this on anybody. Its this strange pain that you have to heal yourself.
"Yes." Ross smiled at me.

A dream that I can call my own. The first time you kissed me.

"You fucking happened! Its you! It has always been you! Ever since I saw you on that stupid shabby couch and with nothing but a fucking garbage bag stuffed with clothes. Its been you when I heard your stupid little tragic tale of how you went to smoke some pot with your friends like a dumb ass. It been you when I first saw you in these damned glasses, and its been you when I saw you....When I saw you with your fucking hair down." He finished off. Before I know it his lips crashed down onto mine. I was in too much shock to think about kissing back. But my body starts to respond to him in a way I didn't know it could. My eyes shut and I got my other wrist out of his grasp to wrap my arms around his neck, and I began to kiss him back making him moan. My lips were no longer taut. The kiss was passionate, and disorganized, because our lips were unfitting sizes, bit that's what made this more perfect