Alone With Ross

•69•

The ending of my junior year was uneventful. And the kids who graduated in the house all said tear filled goodbyes as each went their separate ways. A week afterwards Ross had left sending me into a mute state and to make matters worse we got a flood of new kids, meaning that my old space in Ross' room is now occupied by a fourteen year old named Jason. So even if I wanted to be with Ross again, it wouldn't be the same.

I can't exactly pinpoint what's wrong with me. Some days I'm sad, others I'm mad, but each day seems slower the the next, every morning I wake up wishing I hadn't and every night I go to sleep wishing I didn't have to.

I'm still in the office, mostly due to the fact that I don't have it in me to actually interact with someone, let alone share a room with someone. Mama Vi had sent me to one of the other houses for a couple days since they have more people to help with physiological stuff, but I feel that being there had made me feel worse than anything so far.

Actually what feels the worst is getting messages from Ross. He sends me just little thoughts and such, pictures from his travels and lastly every night before I go to sleep he texts me goodnight, and I find myself waiting pathetically each night just to see two simple words.

The first night he was gone it was: Goodnight Cass, I love you, sweet dreams.

Fourth Night: good night Cass, sweet dreams

One week: night Cass

I didn't know what to write back in return, I would always type something out, but my brain refused to hit send.

I started online college schooling, I'm planning on getting the first year out of the way ahead of time, it's not like I have much else to do this summer.

Bing!

I looked down at my phone, my heart beating a bit faster as I saw it was from Ross.

*just made it to Nevada*

I once again was stumped as to how I should respond. But I didn't have to think about it much longer as Vi walked though the door fiddling with her rings on her hands.

"You coming over for dinner?" She asked quietly and I shook my head no I'm response making her sigh. "I really miss you Cass." I blinked in surprise, I hardly ever see anything phase Mama Vi, but I felt a pang in my heart that I was causing her distress.

"Alright, I'll go." I mumbled and she smiled towards me holding her hands out to me and I lazily got up only to have her wrap her arms around me in a tight hug, making me lose my breath, not from how tight she was hugging me, but because of how much I needed her.

"I know all too well how you're feeling." She rubbed comforting circles in my back. "You give someone the best parts of yourself only to have them leave." I heard her sniffling causing tears to come to my eyes. "Now, I'm not saying that what Ross is doing is wrong, god only knows how much heart break he went through over that girl, but I'm saying that I understand." I wrapped my arms around her too and laid my head on her shoulder, letting my cries rip through me once again.

"I just don't want to fight anymore Vi. I've been fighting my whole life, everything shouldn't be this hard, I just want one thing to be mine and stay mine." I felt small again, especially with how she was petting my head. It had reminded me of how my mom would do it.

My eyes narrowed.

Mama Vi is my mom.

"Vi?" I croaked.

"Yes?" She asked leaning back to wipe my face.

"Can you adopt me?" Her eyes widened before she teared up and she slowly shook hear head making rejection wash over me.

"As much as I'd love to, Caspian this isn't what you want, you're supposed to break away from this place," She dropped her arms and took a step back. "a clean break." She added.

I couldn't be upset with her, besides she's been with hundreds of kids, she knows what she's talking about, but I still couldn't help but reexamine our whole relationship. Was I just another troubled kid to her?

"But we don't need a piece of paper to tell us we're family." She said softly. "All of you are my kids, and I will stand by that till the day I die."

"You mean it?"

"Every word, my dear." She patted my back before my stomach growled causing us to both laugh. "Let's say we stop crying for a bit and stuff our faces?"

"That sounds amazing."

•••••

HEYYYY

ALRIGHT SO IVE RECENTLY SIGNED UP FOR WATTPAD STARS WHICH IF YOU DONT KNOW JUST LOOK IT UP

AND I RELLY HOPE THEY ACCEPT ME BUT IF THEY DONT NO BIGGIE.

But anyways I updated again this week because I decided I'm going to plow through to the end.

Next chapter is going to have a Q&A so y'all know the drill.

Comment questions for Ross here:

Caspian:

Any other character:

Me :) :

Plz vote comments and follow I'd really appreciate and thx 4 reading

Aliah