I was 10. He was 12. He was older. He was a pre-teen, and I had just gotten into the double digits. I looked up to him. I strived to be like him.
When he laughed at a joke i didn't understand, I laughed along as if I did. When he flirted with my babysitter, I batted my eyelashes at her. When he sliced words into his thighs, I gave myself scratches on my shins.
I didn't understand why he hurt himself back then. I just didn't get it. He told me "Frankie, its a different flavor of hurt. It has a different feel. It not like getting punched. It's like, when you cut.. The bad stuff comes out."
Then he would tell me I was 'too young' even though by this time, I was 13 and he was 15 and we were both in junior high. Me in eighth grade, him in ninth.
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to be thin (frerard)
Fanfiction'it was as if winter had touched my body and left it permanently cold' wintergirls au - ish
