I was 10. He was 12. He was older. He was a pre-teen, and I had just gotten into the double digits. I looked up to him. I strived to be like him.
When he laughed at a joke i didn't understand, I laughed along as if I did. When he flirted with my babysitter, I batted my eyelashes at her. When he sliced words into his thighs, I gave myself scratches on my shins.
I didn't understand why he hurt himself back then. I just didn't get it. He told me "Frankie, its a different flavor of hurt. It has a different feel. It not like getting punched. It's like, when you cut.. The bad stuff comes out."
Then he would tell me I was 'too young' even though by this time, I was 13 and he was 15 and we were both in junior high. Me in eighth grade, him in ninth.
YOU ARE READING
to be thin (frerard)
Фанфикшн'it was as if winter had touched my body and left it permanently cold' wintergirls au - ish
