to be thin (frerard)

To be hurt.

One day when we were driving, we got hurt. We got hurt bad. You see, we didn't eat for three days. Like, absolutely nothing. He was 17, I was 16. I was 91 pounds and he was 93. We were getting dizzy all the time now. Our hair was thin, our nails yellow, our skin dry. We were the living dead. We were trapped between the two worlds. But we couldn't see it.

So again, we were driving. Blasting music, feet out the windows in my case, one had out for his. Having a good time. Then Gerard just stopped singing. He loosened his hand on the wheel and didn't break, even though it was a red light. He suddenly grabbed the wheel and swerved and crashed. We both passed out. I don't remember much, only flashing red and blue lights and the sound of voices over radios.

I do remember waking up in the hospital with a tube up my nose and down my throat. The small room had my mom, grandma and Miss Way in it. There was an awkward silence for a few minutes before I asked, "Where's Gerard?". They explained that he's getting released in a few minutes and that I have been here for 3 days, slipping in and out of consciousness.

The doctor came in then and basically explained how fucked up my body was. My electrolytes were messed up from not eating anything, but drinking 120 ounces of water daily. Well, she wasn't that specific but i knew what she meant. My organs wanted to give up on me. But don't worry! 1,800 calories through a feeding tube will help!
It made me sick. I wanted to rip the thing out of me. I felt disgusting. My skin felt like it would rip open from all the calories.

Miss Way left to go sign the release papers for Gerard and told me she would be right back with him. I didn't want him to see me like this: fat, weak, out of control. I hated not having control of what went in my body. A half hour later, Gerard came in with his mom. He looked at me and I could see his heart drop.

"Frankie... This is all my fault.." Everyone in the room thought he was talking about the bruises littered on my body. But I knew he was talking about the tube.
"It's okay gee. I'll get better. I promise."

The nurse came in one more time and explained the tube.
"You're about," she hummed as she checked her papers. "20 pounds underweight." My mom went on about how she tried to feed me everyday but I just wouldn't cooperate.
"I know its not your fault, Mrs. Iero. We think Frank may have a eating disorder. It's not as common in boys, but its very possible. We can have him tested in about half an hour. Then we can discuss treatment options.

My mom looked like she would pass out any minute. My grandma had to leave the room, and Gerard and Miss Way were already out of the room because the nurse came in.

"The tube is giving you 1,800 calories a day, as I told you earlier. If you cooperate for a few days, we can have you off the tube and onto regular food. You haven't gained any fat yet, only food weight so this may take longer than expected. Hopefully we can have you healthy in a few months."

"Healthy is fat."

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So longest chapter so far whoo! Thanks to everyone that has read so far(: comment, rate, favorite, whatever. It means a lot to me :D