HIDING HIS DAUGHTER (UNDER EDITING)

CHAPTER 48

JAIDEN'S POV

Physically, my body feels so exhausted and drained like I haven't slept or rested properly for years. My mind is clouded, and my heart feels so heavy as if it is being crushed slowly every single day. But despite everything that I am feeling right now, despite all the pain and struggles I am going through-I promised myself one thing and that is I will never give up on her. I will never give up on Angela.

No matter how long it takes, no matter how hard the journey is, and no matter how much it destroys me, I will not stop until I find her. I will not stop searching for the woman who owns my heart and soul. I will move heaven and earth just to bring her back into my arms again.

Right now, I am here inside my dim and quiet room, sitting on the cold floor surrounded by empty and half‑filled bottles of alcohol. Kanina pa ako umiinom, trying to numb the pain and silence the noise inside my head, pero parang lalo lang lumalala. Every time I finish one bottle, I just throw it roughly anywhere causing it to break into pieces and make loud crashing sounds that echo all over the place. Basag na salamin ang nakakalat sa sahig, pero wala akong pakialam kahit masugatan o dumugo ang kamay ko, parang wala lang 'yun kumpara sa hapdi na nararamdaman ko sa loob ng dibdib ko.

Deep inside, I know very well that karma has already caught up with me a long time ago. Matagal na panahon na rin simula noong sinimulan akong parusahan ng tadhana. And I deserve every bit of it. I really do.

Everything happening to me right now is nothing but my own fault. I am the reason why everything fell apart. I am the reason why the woman I love the most is suffering and hurting. I am the one who broke her heart into pieces, I am the one who crushed her soul, and I am also the one who destroyed her completely just because I thought that was the best thing to do. I chose to hurt her to save her, not knowing that it would kill me slowly as well.

Even at this very moment, kahit lasing na lasing na ako at magulo na ang isip ko, siya pa rin at siya lang ang laman ng isip at puso ko. Paulit‑ulit kong naaalala ang mukha niya, ang matamis niyang ngiti, ang boses niya at lahat ng tungkol sa kanya. I wonder how she is doing right now? Safe ba siya? Masaya ba siya kung nasaan man siya ngayon? Kumakain ba siya sa tamang oras? Is she taking good care of herself the way she used to take care of me? I hope she is doing fine, even though I know deep inside that I am the main cause of her misery.

There are times when the pain becomes too unbearable that I desperately want to end my own life. Gusto ko na lang mamatay para matapos na rin ang lahat. Gusto ko na lang tapusin ang buhay ko dahil pakiramdam ko wala na rin naman akong halaga kung wala siya sa tabi ko. I want to kill myself because living in this world without her feels like hell, and the fact that I was the one who pushed her away and caused her pain makes everything a thousand times worse. I ruined the only good thing that happened in my life.

Damn it... everything is just so hard. Everything feels suffocating and heavy.

Suddenly, I heard someone knocking on the door repeatedly, but I completely ignored it. Wala akong balak magbukas o makipag-usap sa kahit sino ngayon. My attention was solely focused on the bottle I was holding and the liquor I kept pouring inside my throat hoping it would numb the pain, but no matter how much I drink, the agony never fades away.

The knocking stopped, and moments later, the door slowly creaked open. I slowly lifted my head and looked up to see who dared to enter my private sanctuary. It was Catherine. She was standing there holding a spare key which I know she kept for emergency purposes.

She entered the room and closed the door behind her. Nang masilayan niya ang itsura ko at ang kalat sa paligid, her expression instantly turned cold and full of disappointment.