Jazz Bar | Suayeon

An Ode to You

I love you but I wish to find a way to love and fix myself and if we are truly meant to be, then I still wish to be with you. Those were the words I said to you, once upon a time...I wonder how you're doing these days. 

How long has it been since I have last seen you, you and your smile, your laugh, I feel like you're always here with me, even when you're not. I close my eyes and you're the first thing I see in my mind and once I open my eyes to the world, I see you in billboards and I hear your voice everywhere. 

Your presence lingers everywhere I go. 

There's no one after you, I do not think I can ever let go of the fact that you loved me enough to write and sing about me. 

I'm just a nobody, a dancer, a back-up. Someone weak enough to let a person hurt them for so long. 

Time has passed and I'm still in my adjusting stage, but I've learned to love myself a little bit. I feel lighter than before and I dance again to the sound of your voice. My heart still beats faster to your voice and when you pop in the screen of my television, I smile and I laugh to your jokes in variety shows. 

I'm still not there but it has been easier and I hope I can come closer to loving the "me" that made you say, "I love you." 

In your smile, in you laugh, in your songs, I hear it, "I love you." 

Love, Kim Bora. 

              Sua's hands shook as she sent the letter. She would have sent it through text but she felt like it would not be as meaningful as through a letter and then again, she did not know if Siyeon still had the same number. She only hopes she did the right choice as she sent the letter. 

She was currently at a cafe that was holding a fan site for Siyeon. Her fans could send gifts and letters, and it would be sent to Siyeon within a day or two. She chuckles at the thought that she is still so updated with Siyeon's life even after so long. But, then again, even before you knew each other, you already loved her, not to this level but it was there, growing. 

Grabbing the drink that she had ordered in the cafe, she sat in the farthest corner, looking over at the packs of gifts placed at the table alongside the two boxes that were filled with letters. 

Gosh, I feel so happy for her, she's so loved by a lot of people. She deserves this. 

Sua hums as she thought of Siyeon, while taking a sip of her drink, her thoughts grew imaginative, thinking of a scenario where they would possibly be reunited, she wonders what would she say and how would she say it. She wonders of Siyeon's response. 

Would she smile at me again? with the same love and adoration that I always saw in her eyes. 

She chuckles at that thought due to the slim chances of that happening ever again. Her mind grew somber with nostalgia, thinking of their time together.

Her life was going pretty well actually, but there were slight moments where she would enter this nostalgic state, constantly thinking of Siyeon, it didn't really help that Siyeon had blew up in popularity after she left.

It was like her revenge to the fact that she left. Every song was screaming I won't let you forget me. Every song was screaming I love you.

Sua sighs again for the tenth time, glancing at her cup when she heard the doors of the cafe open with the soft chimes of the bells placed above.

It was a tall girl wearing a bonnet and a mask so she couldn't fully see her face, but she was wearing an all black jacket with jeans. She was with a guy that was walking behind her, while carrying a big bag.