A New hope

Chapter 23-Kicking and Screaming

Monday-

This past weekend felt like a decade long. It's probably because I've been in my room so much, avoiding my family like they have a plague. I know they are more than willing to talk to me and to help me recover. Still, anytime I see one of them though I'm convinced they're going to make me tell them what happened, though I know they would never do that.

I gently curl my hair with my curling iron, twirling the freshly curled piece before letting go. My body woke me up at six this morning and I wasn't able to fall back asleep. So, I decided to pamper myself with this extra time.

I look at myself through my standing mirror. I have to admit this uniform is cute, the skirt is a cute length, and the checkered blue complements my dirty blonde hair. It reminds me of a rich kid boarding school book which, funnily enough, it is, well, besides being in a book.

My hair falls down to my lower back in luscious curls. I've been growing it out since I got here, and it has thankfully gotten a lot healthier. I don't love too much makeup, so I've applied just a small amount to it. On the other hand, my neck is covered in makeup. For once I'm grateful for the years of training I've had covering up bruises and scars.  I sigh, smoothing down the sides of my skirt. I look like I belong in a rich boarding school. My eyes turn to my alarm clock, and I see it is 7:20 am.

I end up deciding to help Vani (Giovanni) with breakfast, he helps me learn how to make some new foods and we end up having a great time, listening to music as we cook. I end up driving only with Tullio, the other boys taking another car to school. It hits be as soon as we drive into the parking lot that Luca will be at school today. A jolt of pure fear hits me, I sit straight up before leaning into the seat like it will hopefully swallow me whole.

Alessio had asked me yesterday if I wished to stay home from school for a while. Though I was tempted, I knew that I would have to face my issues sometime. Plus, I wanted to see my friends. As much as I love being home now, I needed to get out of there for a few hours a day. So, when Alessio asked me, I had said that I was ready for school. I'm kind of regretting that decision right now. 

Tullio pulls the car into park, doing a double take when he sees me basically hyperventilating. "Sorella? What's wrong?" Luca is part of my friend group; he has been in it way longer than I have. I'll have to tell them what he did, or have to continue to stay friends with Luca, the boy who almost raped me. But what if they turn on me, they won't believe me over Luca, who they've known for years.

"Ciana!" I'm jolted out of my spiraling thoughts as Tullio shakes me by the shoulders. I flinch away from him, "Don't touch me!" He leans away, holding his hands up. I curl into a ball, bringing my legs to my chest. Oh my God and now I'm turning against my brother. He is going to hate me now, I need to get out of here, but I can't go into the school, where Luca is waiting for me. My breathing gets quicker and quicker, but I can't feel any air coming in.

"Sister, calm down. Everything's okay. Look at me." Tullio's voice calls, calming. "Look at me." I do, turning my head towards him. "Watch me, look, see my breathing." He takes a deep breath, "follow my breathing." I do, inhaling and exhaling as he does until my breathing slows down and my heartrate calms.

"See. You're safe. I got you," he says with a small smile, "Do you want to go home?" I debate but shake my head, I'm going to have to do this sometime, waiting would only delay the inevitable. He nods wearily, "Panic attacks are real bastards. I used to get them all of the time." I look at him curious, "Medical school is no joke. My first year I was actually erratic, Lucio coughing too loud would set me off. I'd either hit something or break down crying. Not fun."

I feel a small smile move onto my face. I bring my legs down, calmer. Tullio bites the inside of his lip, his long hair pulled back into a messy bun. He looks like he's debating something, and I know what he's wondering. "Ask."